So, you’re moving in together … Mazel Tov!

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Relationships on October 16, 2008 at 11:29 pm

So, you’re moving in together – Mazel Tov! … And you need advice? Well, you’ve come to the right place!

I have lived with three boyfriends before; the first was “our” apartment that we both moved into together. The second was “my” apartment that he moved into and the third was “his” apartment that I moved in to. Out of all these possible scenarios, moving into a place together is the best way to go. Look at this as much as a marriage as you can. Before the new place, you could leave your boyfriend at anytime and anywhere. Now you have a leash; a force that binds you to not only another human being, but a place of co-habitation. This force is known as “the lease.”

The lease is the real commitment; prior to the lease, if you and your boy were at a party, someone would inevitably ask you if you think each other are the one. “Sure,” you say -“why not?” You have nothing to lose. If he’s not the one then “he’s” not the one and you go home. But with the lease you’re really saying “I give it a year solid, after which our commitment is based on a month to month.” I’m all about love and being spontaneous but all I’m saying is protect yourself and know your rights. Have the uncomfortable conversation with him about what should happen if you two do break up. What happens to the house? Who moves out? Who keeps the dog? I’m assuming you’ll get a dog because let’s face it, that’s what gays do.

I’ve been dating guys for over 10 years now – A couple models, a couple older business types, a celebrity, and some “regular Joes.” And after all my mistakes, the bottom line is honesty and openness. Talking about how things might end is not unromantic or tainting the idea of moving in, it’s the responsible thing to do for both of you. If you truly care about each other and want to protect each other then make sure you’re clear on all aspects. All that being said, only invite your rich gay friends to your house warming – the others will bring cheap wine that they’ll end up drinking themselves and spilling onto your carpet.


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