Coming Out at Thanksgiving

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Weddings, holidays, Relationships, religions, sex on November 25, 2009 at 5:45 pm

The decision to come out is an important part of any gay man’s life. It’s the chance to finally let the people you love see you for who you are. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you might start thinking that there is no better time to come out and finally be yourself. Equal4All sat down with two gay men as they shared their views about coming out on a holiday.

“Holidays are very family oriented and I get that it’s a comforting time,” said Jon McPhee, 22, but he doesn’t believe that you have to come out on a holiday. “You should find comfort in coming out anytime of the year, you shouldn’t have to fall back on a holiday. But if that’s what it takes for you to come out, more power to you,” he said.

McPhee, who came out earlier this year, also mentions that the relationship that you have with your family is a huge factor in the coming out process. “Ultimately, it’s your own decision when you want to come out, but I just hope that the reason why people come out on holidays aren’t so they can fall back on it because they fear the outcome. It’s always sad when you hear that someone’s coming out process is a trying experience rather than a positive one.”

Colin Sullivan, 22, had similar feelings about coming out on a holiday. He came out to parents earlier this year and said that he may come out to his sister during the upcoming Thanksgiving. But he too, is unsure if coming out on the holiday is the right way to do it. “I don’t think I could do the ‘tell one, tell all’ type of thing. I wouldn’t want such an important part of my life being associated with the holiday,” he said.

“It’s really just such an important time for a gay man, so when you’re ready to tell people, you should regardless of the circumstances, but just try and be aware of what the reactions might be,” Sullivan said.

Though Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the ideal time to come out for a lot of men, for some, it is. “If you want it to be out there quickly, then jump into the deep end and do it, It’s different for everyone; all I know is that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it that way,” Sullivan said.

So, if you are planning on coming out this Thanksgiving, just make sure you do it on your own terms and that you’re ready for anything thrown back your way. Sullivan said, “Just be strong, be prepared for any reaction possible … but no matter what they say, or how they react, everything gets better with time.”

What are your thoughts on coming out at Thanksgiving? Please share your ideas below!

-Lindsay Dahlstrom

Photo Source 1, 2, 3

  1. I don’t know if it’s really important to come out on a holiday. I think you should just come out when you’re ready. It depends on the person.

  2. great article, this might be the best one yet!!

  3. Nicely done! You got my point of view across very well!

  4. I came out at the beach to my family… holding hands with my mom in beach chairs…
    And in the water with Dad while we were surfing.
    So if you find yourself in a warm climate this holiday season, and you’re considering coming out, please think about this piece of advice my friends Graciela Melzer and Andy Cohen gave me about coming out to my family:

    “Well, really, there’s no wrong way to do it. Just do it.”

    They and their comment gave me the courage to go through with it. And I had my best friends at home as back ups. Just in case. If you want to ask more, please feel free to contact me at perrymoorestories.com.

    I can tell you all about my “outer-vention” that my best friends in my fraternity planned for me. Still my closest friends today. Gave me the strength to be me!

    Happy holidays to all. The truth will set you free… so consider giving the gift of truth in a loving way this season!

    Perry Moore
    author of HERO

  5. I’m not quite sure a family holiday is the time to come out. I believe you know when its time.
    For me, when I went off to college everyone thought I was gay, so I just ran with it! When the time came I told me family, and its been hard.. But you have to make yourself happy in the end.

  6. One should come out of the closet AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. It’s courageous, transformative and empowering. It’s pretty annoying to hear “Well many people just assumed so I didn’t say anything” It’s your TRUTH! You better say something! Speak up and find your gay fire! haha. srsly, I don’t think it’s appropriate to NOT mention it at a holiday because you are afraid of the families reaction. I really push people to live their TRUTH and BE ABSOLUTELY HONEST and FREE as soon as possible. THIS has MUCH to do with the fact that I came out at 14. I proclaimed my sexuality and said “DEAL WITH IT”. Now in my art I do the same thing..LOL. If youre READY and it happens to be a holiday..Happy GAY Xmas! or Hannukah, Thanksgiving WHATEVER.

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