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Posts Tagged ‘Charlie Demos’

Erectile Reptile and then some…

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Literature, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on October 19, 2009 at 10:57 pm

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After writing the last blog I wrote about 3 or 4 follow-ups. But they were all safe … talking about how music and other artistic mediums inspire me (Go to my website for that!).

I felt I hadn’t finished speaking about gender identity and the psyche of the gay man; I need to talk more in depth about this topic as it directly informs my art and continues to intrigue/inspire me.

What is the big deal with size queens … that’s what I’m wondering! Why do MANY of my gay friends and older gay men that I know and respect, always claim to need “9-12inches or a soda bottle size dick?!?” Where does this fascination with size come from? Is this stat REALLY what we should be basing our sex lives on? Does having an average size penis mean YOU ARE only “average” or less masculine?! Ha-ha! This is RIDICULOUS and yet another stereotype that’s being shoved down our throats (pun intended) to make gay men feel insecure and inferior; AS IF they aren’t enough out there!

Look, I have an average size dick; it’s not too big and not too small. I’m a grower not a shower, and I’ve never had a complaint. I believe it’s not the size of the boat, but rather the motion of the ocean!! I personally would never expect a partner to have a huge donkey dick, and if I loved and cared for my partner, I’d be happy no matter what. This SHOULD NOT be a prerequisite NOR should it be a standard; it shouldn’t even be an issue! Just because a guy has a huge tool doesn’t mean he knows how to use it! Still so many gay men out there harp on this topic and I find it really shallow.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that this topic is an issue of masculine inadequacy. This size obsession also goes hand-in-hand with the gay community’s “norm” and pressure to WORKOUT 24/7. Big muscles = big STRONG masculine men … give me a break!! This type of behavior and social conditioning leads to extreme body image issues. What about the inside? What about your capacity to love another person and be available to build something substantial and real with a partner?! How about focus on being an intellectual and spiritual person AS WELL AS your SEXUALrelationship?! They are all parts of a whole (whether it is you and your boyfriend or just YOU as a multi-dimensional human being).

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But along with modern technology comes going to extreme LENGTHS (hehe) to alter one self, thinking this will bring value to their person and bring more persons to their bed. Can we say SIDE EFFECTS?! Some include penile numbness, loss of erectile capability, soreness and so on! WHO WANTS that?!! NOT ME!! I love my penis and want to keep it in GOOD WORKING ORDER; sensation loss is NOT an option.  We should find NATURAL ways to enhance sensation and draw out the pleasure and orgasm … for example, using Tantra and certain Yogic practices. I’m a huge fan of Tantra; Yoga is a huge part of my life. And Yes, I take  it into the bedroom. It may not be instant gratification, but these techniques are to be LEARNED and experimented with.  However, there are books out there! Just try Googleing Mantak Chia, Penile implants, pumps, and chemical and herbal supplements; there’s a lot out there claiming to “HELP” make you bigger. And MANY of these “revolutionary” tools are targeted towards a much younger crowd!!? WTF? There is a whole under culture who takes Viagra to enhance their sexual adventures for an extended period of time. Again … never been an issue! IF you are attracted to your partner, and have a connection, you SHOULD be able to give it all you got and KEEP IT GOING!!  If you can’t sustain an erection you should go see your doctor. If it’s not erectile dysfunction, EXPLORE your sexual tastes! Maybe you have an undiscovered fetish or situation that makes you SUPER HOT … or hey, maybe you’re BI! What’s the harm in exploration?!  It will only make you happy and more knowledgeable in the end!

-Charlie Demos

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Top to Bottom

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Music, Night Out, NYC, sex on August 25, 2009 at 2:29 am

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Currently rocking: Kraftwerk’s “The Man Machine;” “Robots” is currently playing!

Okay so I feel great blogging away!! It’s so far a sort of stream of consciousness but that’s how I converse; I don’t want to sit and plan what is appropriate for me to say! I much prefer to chat with all you sexy people in a natural, candid way!

I am going to segway from my beauty blog about feeling sexy to actual SEX and relationships – from tops to bottoms and those who are versatile … back to butch, femmes, and Andros! MORE and MORE labels to pigeonhole ourselves further into little cubby holes so we can literally SHOP for an “IDEAL” partner – or more truthfully, an “IDEAL” compliment to our outward appearances in society’s grip.

Yes much of it may be preferential, but these labels can sometimes serve as a mask. Why can’t we all just be the beautiful individuals Mother Nature intended us to be?!! Guys look at me: I am 5’11, 155lbs., skinny, white, artsy – and they assume so much without knowing me. Assumptions are: You are a total “femme bottom” that loves to be bossed around. My outgoing enthusiastic attitude also makes me seem “gullible,” I’ve discovered … how wrong is that?!!

In relationships, I tend to be the “MAN” – the one that “wears the pants.” But if we’re both boys, then we both wear pants – and girls wear pants too! I’m confused ALREADY with antiquated gender jargon!! Isn’t it interesting that all this terminology harkens back to the 1950’s standard of men’s and women’s role in society? Antiquated much?!

I prefer to top. I’ve tried bottoming many times and it hasn’t (in the past) been fulfilling to me. THAT does NOT mean I rule it out for all eternity. I think the ideal relationship for me is one where there is an ebb and flow … versatility, if you will. I just haven’t met the right guy for that yet!

If you want to feel the meaning of label constriction and have a good laugh, read Keith Swain’s “book” Dynamic Duo. Never before have I seen someone simplify the complexities of the human condition so ignorantly. One of my back-up dancers gave me this book; he is one of the sweetest guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing but he is totally indoctrinated into this “SYSTEM” for finding your mate! There is no ONE way to find love or happiness!! LIFE doesn’t have a handbook, so open your mind and take an adventure!!

I outwardly proclaim NOT having a specific type (looks-wise). Some friends say I like pretty boys, tortured artsy boys, White, Latin, black, or even Asian (now I’m beginning to sound like a Missy Elliot song!). I like it all, but it really depends on chemistry, energy, and dynamics of the individual! Many of the men I’ve been in serious relationships with have been physically shorter than I am, about the same build, and with personalities slightly more BETA. I think personal motivation and a killer work ethic is pretty sexy.

My friends always say I’m the “Butchest gay guy” they know … which means what exactly?! I don’t have a typical butch build, but I’m just a “regular guy” personality wise? HUH? I’m flummoxed.  I’m just myself – a dude – a dude who is a musician and gay. I’m an old-fashioned romantic when it comes to courting. I like to buy my guy flowers, pay for dinners when I can (keep in mind: I am a full-time INDIE ARTIST! HAHA) i.e. do the typical “male” role things in the relationship. But this is also because I’m a Libra and love beauty in all its incarnations … even gesture! Does this mean that I don’t adore the reciprocity of such behavior? Of course not! I appreciate thoughtfulness and effort too!! There is nothing more appealing to me than a man who allows himself to be soft, feminine, and most importantly, receptive to another man’s energy.

So much of the gay community’s energy IS this “TAKE IT BITCH!” attitude! I truly believe this is subconscious misogyny … or conscious!! There is so much beauty and power in surrender, opening your mind and heart enough TO accept another man.

It was very amusing to me to read these match.com, OkCupid.com, and all the other dating site profiles out there on the web. I’ve tried the online-dating thing and it just wasn’t for me – meaning I never found a LTR. However, I did find some great sex … still fantasize about this one guy – sexy psycho; I threw his phone out a window! LOL, anyway… All the dates I’ve been on from Okcupid.com that claimed desire of a LTR, I had sex with after maybe 3 dates (granted these are THE FEW I didn’t get up and walk out on the first date!!) Match.com: 1 guy , first date = sex – this guy was looking for a “HUSBAND.” LOL – keep in mind I expressed interest in meeting guys for short-term dating, long-term dating, and sex … no ambiguity, no grey areas.

There will be a profile of a seemingly great guy. He is super cute, interesting, multi-faceted, seemingly very educated, and then at the end of his post it will say: MASCULINE ONLY. NO QUEENS PLEASE. U MUST WORK OUT 6X A WEEK. WTF?!!! Men come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and dispositions; what is so wrong with an effeminate male? I love a queen in my man – it’s exciting, dynamic and multi-dimensional. We are oppressed enough as it is. Now I KNOW a great deal of attraction is personal preference. For Example, I typical enjoy darker features – Mediterranean or Latin. I’m not too into blonde-hair, blue-eyes TYPICALLY. However, I have fallen for one or two blondies that caught my attention with another more attractive quality to me! So I can’t say that I rule any one physical “TYPE” of guy out! I like a good adventure!! I’ve dated tall, short, large, small, geeky, preppy, angsty, prissy, trans, and bi just to name a few!!

But what I DO NOT understand is this whole “I want a straight/straight acting guy” fantasy?!! I don’t want a straight man! I want a gay man! I love my gays!! I want someone I can embrace and kiss their face off in public anytime I want – or screw on the street in the middle of the west village on a Friday night at 9pm!! HAHA – get the condoms and the Boy Butter (best lube ever!!) THIS is why so many men are single. BECAUSE they are so close-minded and see other gays who are more comfortable with themselves and are intimidated.

I’ve read several essays about gender identity and the gay men’s disdain for other gay men’s effeminate natures. Some people suggest that this not self-hatred or homophobia, but rather misogyny – A total disregard for all things FEMININE. This is SO sad, especially for our community. One of the things that has made homosexuals sacred in certain cultures, for example Native American traditions, is that we had BOTH energies – two souls!!  We need to get back to this!! Peace, Love, and Happiness!!

-Charlie Demos

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Charlie is a fantabulous pop singer who will be guest-blogging for Equal4all for the next several weeks.

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Manscaping and the Road to Self-beauty

In Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships on August 19, 2009 at 9:37 pm

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Hello, everyone! OK, so I’ve never BLOGGED before and I’m super excited to!! I think it’s imperative to let you all know WHAT I’m listening to whilst blogging – considering MUSIC is my life’s work and such a HUGE part of my life!! I’m currently rocking Royksopp‘s album “Junior”. Check it out!!

I wanted to my first blog ever to be about something fun and lighthearted, but with a deeper undertone!  I am going to talk about manscaping, male beauty upkeep, and body maintenance!  The more I hang around with my fabulous drag Queen, burlesque performer, performance artist and stripper friends, the more high-maintenance I become; the more vain I become!! OMG Vanity 6 is a huge inspiration to me!! All of Prince’s work is … side tracked sorry!

I like to think of it more like getting a self-esteem boost. I used to be au naturale and was convinced that manscaping and body maintenance outside of exercise was fake and superficial. You can even watch an interview with Mike Diamond where I speak out on purposefully NOT upkeeping my man-bush. I do believe this attitude was due to the fact that I have an eating disorder – anorexia – and I have been in the recovery process for 2 years.

Without creating a blog entry entirely ABOUT my anorexia, I will quickly say that this disorder, in my experience, has been about LACK of self-confidence, self-esteem, psychological delusions, and pressure from society to conform to this super-powered image of WHAT is “beautiful” as opposed to feeling beauty, sexy, and SEXUAL in your own skin.

Although men’s beauty treatments and beauty rituals are becoming more and more mainstream, it is still a TABOO … in The United States anyway! What’s wrong with a guy wanting to look his best? With a shave here, a dye there, some makeup even? There are people in both the homo and heterosexual communities that would deem it “prissy,” “primpy”, or “feminine.” However, I find that this is a disregard and disdain for the feminine energy that resides in us all – male, female, straight, gay, bi, trans, pan … whatever! We all have our masculine and feminine sides; both are exciting, beautiful, and part of our nature! And who is it that deems beauty a strictly feminine thing?!! Throughout all cultures and all of time, men have adorned themselves and have had rituals to make themselves more appealing to their mates and to themselves.

I started trying to manscape with a straight razor. WHAT?!! Holy shizz – it was precarious at the VERY LEAST! How is one supposed to get everything organized and balanced when a shaky hand holds a RAZOR so close to the goods?!! And the ass shaving?! FORGET it! I’m big into yoga but I don’t want to have to wrap my legs around my head to get a clear shot of my ass; it’s all about an electric razor. I recently purchased one from Duane Reade – $20.00 – it’s Conair and has 4 attachments INCLUDING a nose hair trimmer! BONUS! Even the most modest guy NEEDS a good nose hair maintenance every so often.

Anyway, it slowly became a ritual for me! I would set some incense burning, put on a good movie or PORN, and have at it! The electric razor is super efficient and gentle. Apply some baby powder directly after and you are GOOD to go! It made me super horny shaving and I found myself hyper-sexual afterwards – masturbating with surprisingly sensational results! I’m a regular manscaper and will never go back! Why would I? If there is a heightened sense of sensation with just me, add another boy to the equation and it’s explosive!! And that’s what I want. For far too long have I heard complaints about my bright red fire crotch hairs getting in my lover’s mouth! Not anymore! I just recently discovered pubic hair dye!! GENIUS! Now I can be a mer-man with BLUE or GREEN pubes or my rock star self with PINK pubes! I have two Brazilian friends that SWEAR by BLEACHING their pubes – to each his own! I really feel your outward identity should be about your inner play! Sexpression!!

As for other maintenance, I’ve found there are some things for me and some NOT for me. I love hair masks, face masks, and eye brow threading. As a performer and recording artist, I need my live show “LOOK” to be super theatrical and fantastical. Over the past year or so, I’ve carried some of my stage look into my everyday look. I love guyliner. I’m a total new-waver/goth at heart … what can I say? But one of the SEXIEST things to me is a boy with some stubble and eye-liner – add a little glitter = HOLY HOTNESS! I really feel like the world would be a much happy place with government issued GLITTER … for everyone!

Each person’s standard or idea of attractive/beautiful is as different as snowflakes. But I find ways to make myself feel more beautiful and that’s a good thing! Self Love people SELF LOVE!! Don’t get me wrong, I do a lot of work on the inside too – a dedicated student of yoga, meditation, volunteer, activist, continuing my education, and striving to better my craft. But why not look you SUPER best when doing one of those things?! “To each his own” is my motto for life!

Charlie Demos

charlies

Charlie is a fantabulous pop singer who will be guest-blogging for Equal4all for the next several weeks. Check out his amazing interview, too!

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Just Call Him … Charlie

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Music, Relationships on January 8, 2009 at 5:17 pm

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Charlie Demos is the artist to keep on your radar in 2009! He’s a hip out and proud musician, and currently preparing to launch his third album – his debut album was launched in 2006, which had three chart-topping hits and that was the beginning of an excellent adventure! The rest is history…

.Charlie, please tell us and our readers how it feels to be preparing for the launch of your third album? Did you ever think you’d get this far when you first ventured off into the wonderful world of music?

C: I feel great about it! I live and breathe music; so, it’s very natural for me to constantly create new songs for people to experience and hopefully, enjoy! I definitely knew I would be performing by now, but I NEVER would have guessed I would have my hands in so many aspects of my own career. Not only am I composing, producing, and performing all my own music but I’m also managing myself – and I love it!

.How do you think your experience with “making it” as a gay artist differs from someone who is straight – for instance, somebody like Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears? Do you think it’s harder for gay musicians to become a success because of their sexual preference and orientation?

C: People place too much emphasis on outcome and not enough attention on the experience of getting to where you want to go. “Making it” means something different to everyone. To me “making it” means I get to do what I love most everyday and support myself by doing it – it doesn’t mean having millions of dollars and a bunch of real estate. I think in some regards, it’s easier in this day and age for out artists to get recognition within the community because of wonderful resources like LOGO, HERE, OutMusic, and many other organizations that bring out arts and entertainment to people both nationally and internationally.  On the other hand, mainstream pop music still isn’t entirely gay friendly – there really isn’t an artist who began their career completely out of the closet and has made it in mainstream. I do think it’s coming though – soon

.How do you think your music has and will influence people in general?

C: I’ve been told by fans of my music that I empower them to be more assertive in their lives and not take any s***t – which is great! Music inspires me, comforts me, and gives me a deep connection to the artist; that’s what I want for people who love my music! I hope that people will relate to what I’m saying and have a great time doing it. I want people to know that although I’m a musician, I’m also a dude. I have good days, bad days, strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. I want my audience to draw strength, self-confidence, and a playful sense of “in your face” moxie from my songs. Sometimes what I’m saying is very specific to my personal experiences; sometimes I’m calling out for people to drop the stress and rock out! Either way, we are all human beings and our experiences are universal. 

.How do you feel your music differs from today’s countless genres of music already out there?

C: Well my music definitely falls into the “Pop” genre. However, I have a diverse palate of musical influences, which gives me a unique sound.  I’m a little rock, a little soul, dance, 80s new wave, electro-experimental avant-garde,  and music from all around the world! I try to incorporate all of this into my personal soundscape. That’s what’s so great about pop music – there is room for every artist to be themselves, and to express their own experiences in a “one-of-a-kind” way.  Whether or not one would CHOOSE to be themselves is up to that individual … but I choose ME 100%!!

.What was the deciding factor in incorporating traditional Greek and Gypsy music into your own music?

C: That’s where my passion and fiery, rebellious spirit comes from! Haha – I’ve yet to fully incorporate these musical traditions into my music. Everything about Middle Eastern music, the minor tonalities, instruments, and vocal ornamentation captivates me! I’ve always dreamed of making a Middle Eastern record but I’m not quite there yet.

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.What’re your thoughts on gay marriage? Do you think President-elect Obama will make an effort to change the current policies?

C: I was overjoyed at Obama’s election – and even more excited when Hilary accepted the secretary of state position; I have been a supporter of hers from day one. Of course I believe that gay people should be allowed to marry! I want to get married some day! Unfortunately, I don’t think gay marriage will be legalized nation wide anytime soon. Ultimately, it will be left up to the individual states, which is better than nothing. Rick Warren is no help either … However, I am very proud that my home state, Connecticut, was one of the first!

.Please give advice to those out there who are struggling with coming to terms about who they truly are:

C: We all need to work towards accepting who we are at the present moment. Everyone has a reason for being in this life, a purpose, and everyone has gifts to give to the world. Life is too short and way too beautiful to not follow the individual rhythm of your own heart. We pride ourselves on “coming out,” but this is only the first brave step on an amazing and sometimes rocky road to self-discovery.  Our community can be really superficial, judgmental, and discriminatory – which saddens me but also fires me up to be 100% unapologetically Charlie – and tell everyone “this is bulls***! Wake up robots!! Who you are, who you really are on the inside, all those hidden dreams and desires … ROCK! Let’s ditch the frivolity and party!!”

Quick, on your toes…

Blue or red?

C: RED. Always red. The color of Passion, Love, and Romance!

 

The ocean or a lake?

C: I love nature. This is a tough one! I would have to say Lake … in Vermont … with a breath-taking mountain view!

 

Cook or take-out?

C: Take-out! I am the WORST cook in the world, but I can definitely order in, heat it up, and serve it as my own! Haha – *wink*

 

Blonds or brunettes?

C: Red heads. I am a red-head. HELL-O!!

 

What kind of car do you drive?

C: I’m a New Yorker – we don’t drive. It’s all about mass transit – subways, buses, and the occasional cab.

 

Favorite candy bar?

C: Twix and Snickers duke it out for my top pick in this category. And snickers wins! It’s the peanuts. Anything peanutty is a weakness of mine. Mix that with caramel AND chocolate … game over

 

Favorite website?

C: www.pandora.com – boring … but HEY free streaming music 24/7

For more on Charlie, please head to soulfulboi.com or his myspace page!

Interview conducted and written by J. Federico

( Special thanks to Steve le Vine of grapeVine Public Relations )