Posts Tagged ‘GLBT community’

Dougall Fraser: E4A’s Top Psychic

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, Hollywood, Literature, Night Out, Relationships, religions, sex on February 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Dougall Fraser is a professional psychic and has recently looked into the future for some of the women on The Real Housewives of Orange County. In this interview, he details how he decided to become a professional psychic, talks about the housewives, and tries to see into his own future.

Equal4all: You recently made an appearance on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Can you tell us a little bit about your experience with the women? Which housewife can you foresee having the most drama in her life in the near future?

Dougall Fraser: When I was invited to appear on RHOC, I honestly thought it would be the easiest job in the world.  I figured that as a gay man, I wouldn’t be threatening to the women and it would be a fun night to connect with them.  Not the case.  The 6 or 7 min segment that aired was a flash of what really was close to two hours.  Most of the women were a bit cold to me with the exception of Tamra and Alexis.  In the end, I think the women were afraid of what I was going to reveal – and in fairness to them, they really had no idea that I was coming.

As far as drama is concerned it’s safe to say that we will see the most drama coming from Gretchens’ life.

E4A: Please tell us a little bit about how you got into the business of being a professional psychic and how you have grown from your career choice:

DF: I don’t think any kid dreams of becoming a professional gypsy.  As the fat, chubby kid on the playground, I was dealing with some intense emotions.  My parents were on the verge of divorce, my sister had leukemia, and I was pretty sure I was gay.  In an effort to avoid my problems, I looked to things like meditation, channeling, crystals, and anything to get out of my head.  I quickly learned that a really fun way to avoid my own problems is to talk about the problems of other people.  This became a little bit of an obsession, something I thought was a hobby.  After years of practice, it coincidentally became my career.  At the age of 20 I came out of the closet, lost a ton of weight, and started taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  I had been reading part time when people asked, and making my living as a massage therapist.  Randomly I was selected the best psychic in Dallas and had an article written about me.  When that publication came out, I went from five readings a month to several readings a day with a three-month waiting list.  For me, this was a huge sign that this work was my destiny.

I feel so lucky to take a peek into peoples lives every day.  My clients are my teachers – I learn from their mistakes.  I share in their joy and their pain.  I get to see such a cross section of people.  It has given me the tools to achieve my goals and to help others achieve theirs.

E4A: In the past, have you been able to foresee important events of your own life? How has being a psychic set you apart from others?

DF: I believe we all have intuition; the only thing that separates me from others is the fact that I listen to it.  The moment I met my husband I heard the words in my head, “You will marry him.”  My second thought was, “God, I must be drunk.”  I wish I could tell you that every day I wake up and have coffee with my spirit guides and they tell me exactly what is going to happen … not the case.  What makes me different is that I pay close attention to my first gut reaction.  I trust what my intuition is saying and keep it in mind.  For example, when I had the psychic impression of who I was to marry, I didn’t blurt it out.  It’s not like the next day I said “Well, I see us getting married.  You should move in!”  Can you imagine?  We dated like normal people and I didn’t tell him for a year that I had that vision.

E4A: How did you realize you were psychic? Did you have a vision when you were younger or is it a family business you just came into?

DF: My family’s business is real estate.  My parents used to say that by the time I was standing in the crib I would talk about colors around people and hearing voices.  Like any good mother, she was positive that I was special.  Like any rational father, I was quickly sent to therapy.  In short, seeing auras, or the energy that surrounds every living thing, has just been as common to me as being left-handed.  I’ve spent years studying energy, color, and light work to define and understand what I was seeing.

E4A: Do you feel that being a psychic and also being gay, that you fit into a certain kind of stereotypical box?

DF: That’s a good question.  I don’t know if I fit into a box – however, I do think society gives permission to women and gay men to be more intuitive.  Feelings, emotions, energy, these are all seen as feminine traits – we always hear about women’s intuition.  I also think that many gay people look outside of traditional religion to find their spirituality.  In the New Age community, all are welcome.

E4A: On your facebook page, it says you are married and he looks like quite the catch. Please tell us how you met your Prince Charming and what married life is like.

DF: OK, moment of truth … David and I met seven years ago in the middle of the night.  It was supposed to be an Internet hookup.  What?  I’m only human.  Anyway, turned out he is the love of my life.

We had our wedding on June 10, 2007 at Bedell Vineyard on Long Island.  We are also one of the 18,000 legally married couples in Los Angeles.

Marriage is so much more than I thought it would be.  It’s very powerful having a co-pilot or equal to share my life with.  We work very hard at inspiring each other to be the best we can possibly be.  In short, I am still smitten with the man – he’s the best.

E4A: If you had the chance to do it all over again, what career path would you choose for yourself?

DF: No regrets … I wouldn’t change a thing.

E4A: How is being a psychic different than taking part in other groups that believe in witchcraft and the occult? Have you ever gotten negative feedback for what you do?

DF: Witchcraft or Paganism is more of a religion and way of life; I haven’t really studied that world very much.  I tend to lean more toward Tibetan Buddhism.  In short, Witchcraft is a Goddess or Earth-based philosophy.  Most of my work deals with the spirit world.

E4A: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

DF: My career goals are to write my second book, and host a daytime talk show.  I would love to inspire people to look beyond the physical, to see their true selves and find their happiness within.  My personal goals are to continue putting down roots and building a happy life in Los Angeles.

E4A: Please give our readers advice on how to stay true to themselves as members of the GLBT community:

DF: Simply put, be who you are!  I follow a basic metaphysical guideline that energy follows thought and thought directs energy.  So be proud, be powerful, and emit a light from within that says “I am who am I am, and I love myself.”

Dougall Fraser is the author of the memoir: But You Knew That Already: What a Psychic Can Teach You About Life

For more information, please go to: DougallFraser.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/dougallfraser

Twitter: http://twitter.com/DougallFraser

J. Federico

-Television appearance and book cover images of Mr. Fraser provided by Guttman PR-

Photo Sources 1, 2, 3, 4, 5


Glam Rock: A Chat with Robin Fucking Black!

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, concerts, Dating, decor, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Literature, Lounges, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, television on January 20, 2010 at 1:52 am

Glammer Robin Black gushes about his new band, his inspirations, and how he wouldn’t mind makin’ out with a dude … that’s why we love him!

Equal4all: How, when, where and why did Robin Black and the Intergalactic Rock Stars form?

Robin Black: I moved to Toronto in 1998, and found four like-minded glam rockers … we started playing in late ’98. We just wanted to be the kind of flashy, good time, exciting band that you just never saw any more.

E4A: Do you still perform with the boys? Why/Why not?

RB: I still play with “Starboy” Chris Cunnane, the last original member. I have a great new band coming together to tour Canada this spring and the UK this summer. Over time, being in a band is like being married to 5 men of questionable hygiene; you develop different goals in your life. I really appreciate everyone I’ve played with before.

E4A: In the song “More Effeminate Than You,” do you feel that the message is misrepresented in the heterosexual sense or do you not mind how your fans interpret it? To be honest, as a gay man, I thought you were singing about being more of a queen than your supposed boyfriend and absolutely loved the message of “take me as I am!”

RB: I think it’s cool that you see it that way. It was used in the first episode of the North American version of Queer as Folk at the moment when the kid (Justin) was outed at school, with “faggot” spray painted on his (Brian’s) Jeep. It was very powerful, and I was very moved how they used it. The way you viewed it, as a gay man, is exactly how most straights view it … that you are more “femmy” than your partner … for straight guys, it’s about being femmier than their girlfriend. Actually, Starboy wrote most of the lyrics and I usually want to write my own lyrics for his songs, but those were so powerful, and I loved the sentiment, so I just added some of my own…

E4A: Do you get labeled as “gay” or “bi” at all because of the way you dress and act?

RB: I’ve been called “gay” thousands of times. I happen to be a (mostly) straight guy who wears make-up and nail polish and dresses flashy. Rednecks and idiots use the term “gay” as an insult, but I sure as fuck don’t take it as an insult.

E4A: Have you ever had a hot experience with a member of the same sex? Who was it with? Do you regret it? Would you do it again?

RB: There have, in the past, been alchohol-fueled evenings where many people were naked in the same room/bed. You often wondered whose hand was where, etc. I remember, in flashes, a guy watching me roger his wife once. Man, crazy times. But, I haven’t had the man on man experience. I’m pretty into girls. I can’t help it. I was born that way. But I wouldn’t rule it out.

E4A: Please give an average Joe some fashion tips as to how to achieve your look on a regular basis:

RB: Glam rock is about cool clothes and hair, eye make-up, etc., but it is, most importantly, about expressing yourself freely. DO YOUR THING! That’s my tip.

E4A: How’s the marriage going? How’d you meet your blushing rocker-bride? Any kiddies in the future?

RB: Marriage is tough. I’ve been married before. Didn’t work out. We are actually going through a turbulent time. I am a very driven guy who always puts my career (the entertainment business) and my dreams first. It’s not super conducive to great relationships. I am also a hopeless romantic.

E4A: Please give advice to anyone in the GLBT community who is struggling with who they truly are:

RB: It’s tough to be different, but living your life the way you want, instead of by others rules, is worth it no matter how hard it is. Fuck, think of the alternative. DECIDE that you will not spend your years here living for other people’s expectations. Wake up every day and celebrate who you are.

E4A: Who’s your biggest inspiration in the wonderful world of music and glam rock? Is David Bowie aka Ziggy Stardust one of them?

RB: I love Bowie and I love T. Rex. As a kid, I wanted to be just like Billy Idol.

E4A: Comment on how you thought Velvet Goldmine represented the glam rock era. If you didn’t see it, what movie correctly portrays the genre that you perform in?

RB: I loved the look, I loved the music. I thought it really, really felt like the gendre-fucked drug-fueled glam rock days that I imagine in the 70’s. I fucking LOVE Hedwig and Phantom of the Paradise.

E4A: What does Robin Fucking Black have planned for the future?

RB: I am developing a TV series right now. Writing a new record. Touring Canada this year. Touring the UK and Germany in August. I am also fighting my first professional Cage Fight in Ottawa, Ontario on July 26th. Don’t ask. Just hoping to keep life an adventure!

Interview conducted and edited by J. Federico

Photo Sources 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Justin Monroe: Something Sexy for all of Us

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, Relationships on August 6, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Justin Monroe is a photographer of the future; he really doesn’t give a s*** what you think, yet he cares the world over. He’s the hottest mess around and that ain’t a bad thing. Monroe’s newest book, Beautiful, is coming out and here’s what he spilled to E4A


E4A: In your biography on your website, it mentions that your parents (a musician and artist) took you on the road during your childhood – that being said, do you feel that taking to ever-changing environments at such an early age had any influence on your eclectic photographic tastes?

Justin: “Absolutely. I think life is about change and any opportunity to do so has always excited me and inspired me to create unpredictable things in my work. Its like always being the new kid in school. You’re forced to put yourself out there. ”

E4A: Fashion photography; what does it mean to you?

Justin: “Fashion photography to me used to mean a lot. To me now I feel its a money making machine that promotes bulimia and anorexia fueled by coke addiction. It is an awesome target for me. I relish in making fun of it every chance I get. So it gives me good material for books, photo shoots, and concepts. If there is one thing I love about fashion photography and that would be the one single thing is its conceptual value.”

E4A: As a gay man, how do you feel you have thus far changed the face of photography? How do you think you will change it in the future?

Justin:  “I feel like I’ve made a change by introducing my audience to more conceptual, interesting, and imaginative images and not just muscle pictures. Anybody can take a sexy model with a great body and photograph him beautifully. That is a no brainer. But to create an illusion and push the boundaries as to what is considered aesthetically beautiful by mixing it with an element of darkness and humor gives one much more to think about. If I can put a tickle in your panties that’s just an extra plus. I feel by creating the kind of work that I do I hope to help other aspiring photographers shoot what they believe in and not cave in to the bullshit of society.”


E4A: Where did you get the idea to take age-old Catholic icons and turn them into such provocative (and at times, erotic) works of art?

Justin: “Probably when I was going to an all boys catholic school in the Midwest. My grandmother was very religious and wanted me to be a priest and all I wanted to do was be a drag queen. I think being so close to the church and all of its expectations and judgments I felt a sense of hypocrisy within the system—people playing god when they were just mere men. I’m sure I’ll piss a lot of people off by saying this, but it’s truly how I feel. The whole catholic priest thing with the little boys… and you know what I mean, was nonsense. Just goes to show you that money can buy you out of any situation. So my images were a way for me to expose my feelings.”

E4A: Heightened reality; how do you use it to your advantage while working on a shoot?

Justin: “I prefer to live in a world of fantasy. Reality sucks!”

E4A: Tell us about your up and coming new book, Beautiful:

Justin: “Beautiful is about a culture clash between elegance and white trash—depicting the millionaire in the palace and the waitress in the trailer park as completely connected whether they think so or not. It will make us all question what we feel is beautiful.”

E4A: How did you come up with the title of Beautiful?

Justin: “I wanted a title that could be ironic and contrast.”

E4A: What has been your most interesting shoot to date?

Justin: “I think that’s a ridiculous question cause that puts me in a box. Each shoot has its own independent value whether it’d be for its artistic value, humorous content, or its conceptual complexity. It’s like apples and oranges.”

E4A: What’s your take on GLBT marriage?

Justin: “I think people should be able to marry who they wish. I think that all we are asking for as gay individuals are the same right to be as miserable as straight people.”

E4A: Please give advice to anyone who may be struggling with their sexuality:

Justin: “Just remember it’s only a conversation in your head. You’re not any of these things you’re making up about yourself. Allow yourself to be free. Know that you are lovable and do it for yourself.”


E4A: Describe your most perfect date:

Justin: “A hotel room, three smooth bubble butt euro boys, strawberries, and tons, and tons of whip cream.”


Boxers of Briefs?

Justin; “Commando!”

What kind of car do you drive?

Justin; “A black Cadillac.”

Digital photography or film?

Justin: “Both.”

Black and white or color?

Justin: “Tech-no color.”

Favorite day trip destination?

Justin: “Fire Island.”

Happy trail or no happy trail?

Justin: “No trail, in fact no pubic hair at all.”

Interview conducted by J. Federico

Author Perry Moore and the Entire GLBT Community Needs YOU!

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, Literature, Relationships, television on June 25, 2009 at 1:34 pm


Dear friends,

Many of you may not know this, but author Perry Moore (Executive Producer of the Narnia films) has just completed the pilot script of the television rendition of his amazingly well put-together, and ground-breaking book HERO.

As Moore and his team await the green light from the ultra-talented, and gay President of Showtime, Robert Greenblatt, the power truly lies in you to make things happen. It would be ever so generous on your end to take the time and write Mr. Greenblatt a note explaining that a show like HERO does not come along every day, and that this is something you are ALL eagerly hoping to see as a series on Showtime. Unfortunately, the network has lost trailblazing shows such as Queer as Folk and the L-Word, which have done wonders for our community; but let’s face it, the network could use a little more queer representation!

Perry Moore, in a personal e-mail states, “Here is a totally new take for the next generation! All you have to do is Google the official Showtime site, and write him a brief letter that states your hopes and dreams to see the show on air. Now is do or die time … he’ll decide in the next few weeks!”

So please take 5 minutes out of your busy schedules, put the Pride plans on hold for 30 seconds, and make sure your voice is heard – together, we can make a difference!

On behalf of Perry Moore, the GLBT community, and myself,

Thank you!

J. Federico and the E4A team

Read Perry Moore’s interview here

Meet Christopher Rice … From Author to Head of the Lammy Awards

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Literature, NYC, Relationships on May 21, 2009 at 1:56 pm


Author Christopher Rice

Author Christopher Rice



Christopher Rice – you’ve heard of him without a doubt. Perhaps you’ve even read one of his novels. The accomplished author and all-around pure talent talks to Equal4all about how he came to head the Lambda Literary Foundation, how he has been involved philanthropically in the past, and what may be in store for him in the near future.

E4A: Mr. Rice, please tell us a little bit about how you first got involved with Lambda Literary Foundation:

My first novel A Density of Souls was actually nominated for a Lammy (I lost to a great mystery writer named John Morgan Wilson.). I was aware of the Foundation but I didn’t know much about them. Years later, the great Katherine Forrest decided to spearhead an effort to bring Lambda into the next century. She asked me to join her on the Board, and after a year of listening to me contributing ideas about how the Foundation could respond to the seismic changes taking place in the publishing industry, she asked me to succeed her as Board President when it came time for her to step down.


The Bottomline Magazine featuring author Christopher Rice

The Bottomline Magazine featuring author Christopher Rice

E4A: How long have you been involved with the LLF?

Almost three years. This year’s Awards will mark my first anniversary as President.

E4A: How many attendees are you expecting this year?

We are expecting around three hundred attendees, which is wonderful news for us. We traditionally hold the Lammys in concert with the Book Expo of America. Publishers are in the habit of flying many of their authors in for the Expo, so this means a lot of our nominees will be in attendance. But New York always brings out a wonderful crowd. The last time we held the Awards in New York was two years ago and we were packed to the rafters!

E4A: What other big names in the LGBT world have been involved with the LLF in the past? How many are taking part in this year’s soiree?

In past years, our Bridge Builder Awards have honored such luminaries as Judy Shepherd and Betty DeGeneres. This year, we’re very thrilled to have Broadway veteran Joe Hardy directing the ceremony itself. And personally, I’m most excited about the recipients of our Pioneer Awards. One of them is Leslie Feinberg, author of Stone Butch Blues, and one of our nation’s most esteemed transgender activists. And I have the personal honor of presenting our other Pioneer Award to the remaining members of the Violet Quill Club: Edmund White, Felice Picano and Andrew Hollerhan. The evening will be hosted by Scott Nevins, a charming and adorable up-and-coming cabaret performer, and the audience is sure to be a who’s who of LGBT publishing, including the great Don Weise, who just took over Alyson Books.

E4A: What do you and your team look for while compiling a list of those who qualify as finalists for this event?

Each category has its own individual panel of judges who review and discuss all of the submissions in their category before narrowing down a list of finalists. Judges are asked to give primary consideration to the quality of the work and its LGBT content. Their discussions are absolutely confidential. Because we give out so many different awards in so many different genres, Lambda works tirelessly to handpick appropriate and dedicated judges. It’s a massive task and I think we do a fine job of it.

E4A: Where do you feel that the LLF fits in in the fight for LGBT equality and the struggle with human rights?

The truth about our lives is most effectively communicated via the written word. Despite proliferating representations of LGBT people in film and television, books continue to offer clear portraits of who we are and how we love. And when so many forces in our society seek to render us invisible, the act of recording our history and collecting our personal stories remain a critical tool for advancing our civil rights.

E4A: Have you been philanthropic in the past? If so, with what organizations?

I’ve given to many organizations, but Lambda Literary is truly my calling.

E4A: Please give advice to those in the LGBT community who are struggling with who they truly are:

What other people think of you is none of your business. What other people do to you is an opportunity to respond with the best of who you are.

E4A: Besides being an amazingly talented writer, what other qualities and attributes would you like to acquire in the future?

You are too kind. How can I even answer this question? Currently, I think it’s important for me to do what I can, with what I have, where I am. Isn’t that how the saying goes? I’m very grateful for the life I have been allowed to lead. I have been provided with tremendous opportunities and I hope that I can help bring visibility to LGBT writers who are suffering in the current marketplace.

E4A: How would you describe your writing style?

Lean, visual, suspenseful and dark.

E4A: What’s in store for you in the next 5 months or so career wise?

I just finished up a rewrite on my forthcoming novel The Moonlit Earth, which Scribner will publish in April 2010. It’s circulating at the house right now which means notes will be forthcoming. Aside from that, I’m toying with the idea of writing a screenplay for a horror film. But for the next few weeks, Lambda Literary is first and foremost in my mind.

E4A: Are you currently dating anyone? What’s your idea of the “perfect” man?

Is this a literary question? I am not currently involved in a serious relationship. I do not believe there is any such thing as “the perfect man.”

E4A: What are your thoughts on LGBT marriage?

It is absolutely essential the gay and lesbian people are treated equally under the law.


Snickers or Milkyway?


Favorite pizza topping?


What kind of car do you drive?


If you could have lunch with any writer, living or deceased, who would it be with and why? What you like to gain from that encounter?

Ross MacDonald. His mysteries has a profound impact on me, and from what I’ve read, he could be a gentle, considerate man. He is responsible for popularizing a vision of Southern California that drew me here, a vision with more depth and subtlety in it that the hardboiled noir landscapes of Raymond Chandler.

*Black and white photo credit: Gwen + Eddie Photography

Interview conducted and edited by J. Federico

Equal4all Giveaway: What Has Been Your MOST Memorable Spring Fling to date?

In Being Gay, Clothing, Gay Business, Ginch Gonch, Giveaways, Night Out on March 31, 2009 at 11:39 pm


Equal4all is teaming up with Ginch Gonch to bring you, our adoring readers, another giveaway!

Want to show off what your mama gave ya or just simply boost your self-esteem?

Here’s what you gotta do …

Answer the following question:

What has been your MOST memorable spring fling to date?


We are not talking about your hottest hook-up (entries that are sexual in nature will be disqualified immediately!). Tell us about your guilty pleasure with a television show, favorite food, and everything in between. Please keep entries between 150-200 words. Most importantly, be CREATIVE; the most creative and humorous entries will be chosen.

You have ONE month to enter this contest – ONE entry per person. Anyone who does not follow official game rules will be disqualified.

Winners will be chosen and notified upon the completion of this contest via email (April 30, 2009). Please provide your contact e-mail address upon entering this contest.

10 lucky winners will receive a pair of Ginch Gonch underwear (New from Ginch Gonch – Pretty in Pink Easter Collection) – 3 additional winners will receive honorable mention in Equal4all’s giveaway follow-up!

Sound simple enough?

Good luck!


About Pretty in Pink (courtesy of Project Publicity):

Ginch Gonch, the unapologetically sassy underwear and lounge-wear company, is putting the ‘hip’ in hippity hoppity this Easter with the launch of its limited-edition Pretty in Pink collection, featuring pink hotdogs, stars and a pink version of its popular argyle brief. Touted as “the sexiest undies you will barely wear”, the Pretty in Pink collection will be available in major department stores, select independent retailers and online at GinchGonch.com beginning April 3rd, 2009 – in time for Easter.

Made from a breathable, body-conforming stretch fabric (95% cotton/5% Lycra), the pastel Pretty in Pink briefs are available in wieners, multiple stars, and argyle. The signature 1 1/4 inch microfiber elastic logo waistband with matching stitched trim, gives the collection a stylish, tailored look.

The Pretty in Pink collection will also be available as long johns.

Equal4all generally will collect your personal information directly from you. We may collect personal information about you when you contact us via telephone, fax and e-mail correspondence, or when you contact us in person. Equal4all will not sell your personal information to any third party, as we respect your privacy and the privacy of others. Your personal information will only be used by Equal4all.

Norm Korpi: The Voice of 1 of 7 Strangers

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, Relationships on January 6, 2009 at 3:59 pm


Remember when the Real World aired back in 1992? Well, we got a chance to catch-up with a trailblazer named Norman Korpi … remember him?

Equal4all: When you first auditioned for the show (Real World: New York) back in 1992, did you think it would last as long as it did … I mean, 20 seasons is a VERY long time!

NK: NO … no … no … I never thought it would make it past Season 2. But looking at Real World’s format with changing casts members, and cities, the format somehow keeps it fresh or predicable with the marketing and the teen machine.

Equal4all: Do you consider yourself a role model for the GLBT community; why/why not?

NK: I don’t consider myself a role model for the GLBT community. Candidly, I would rather be considered a role model for the straight community. Why? I think people are starting to see the green impact that gays share a light on. Upholding population control and resource consumption with same-sex (or no sex, in my case) lifestyle which I celebrated through helping others around me achieve their happiness by staying out of the rat race and lines which plague us all. I am glad my trend-setting role on the Real World has also had a positive cultural impact after all these years with other fancy-free-folk and such, making their waves of acceptance in the pond of pop-culture more splashy then I. In short, gays reduce traffic. Traffic and pollution are not good. Go Green … GO GAY!

Equal4all: Was your season really “real?” How so? What was your most “real” moment throughout the filming? Do you think the seasons that came after yours weren’t as valid as far as reality was concerned?

NK: The show was only 22 minutes long and it was in a forced semi-controlled space. I think I reacted as I would in that type of environment. If you knew me before the show, you would say that I was pretty much me. What MTV aired, I think, was a nice portrayal… but it was limited due to the time they had to show. Also, there was time when there were no, I mean no gay people on television. This was a huge commercial event … PBS nor the NEWS aired this kind of thing. Pop-Culture. Soda Pop. I was new, and so it was a very unusual event having a gay cast member … and the “real” was what made it work. Once we changed the way people watched, people saw it for some kind of a stage to be famous, and they wanted to celebrate their issues and learned from/had fun with others. I think you can do this all now on facebook and YouTube.

Equal4all: Do you think you portrayed a realistic sense of the gay lifestyle throughout the duration of filming of the show that would someday hold an iconic status in pop-culture?

NK: I am not sure there was anything called a “gay lifestyle” back then. It was disco, and we did the best to have fun and keep from catching the bug. It was a sad time and we protested a bit more than the kick back “IKEA chill.” Also, I like deer hunting, and golfing; I am not sure how all that played out either.

Equal4all: Besides making “The Wedding Video,” what else have you done since your season was all wrapped up and aired?

NK: I have been painting and exhibiting my artwork with various galleries, commissions and shows; I have few art shows coming up this summer (at The Contemporary Center of Art in Orange County). I have a few other projects that will be surfacing about water control and renewable energy, but that’s too long and dull to get into.

Equal4all: Are you married? What are your stands on gay marriage?

NK: No, I am not married – I am for whatever works for the people!

Equal4all: Who have been your top 5 favorite gay cast members over the last 20 seasons and why?

NK: What I have learned over the years is this: favorite, like, and dislike are traps and don’t offer much to me; those steps create a hierarchy or reward structure in which others will follow, because even when there is a likeness assumed, there is a dislike or someone’s life wasn’t as meaningful when the editors made choices. I will say the cast members who were straight did has much or more for the gays … by making relationships that were caring, combative, and real. All of this happened for all to see!

Equal4all: Please give advice to anyone who is struggling with coming to terms with who they truly are:

NK: Take a step forward … Stop being so needy … Learn to listen to other people … The Meteor is coming, so help us stop it from wiping us all off the earth! (It’s part metaphor, and it’s also on the horizon) Oh yes, and you can’t change anyone…just yourself. This is sad but true. Once you get that, you’ll go much further down the road. Make a party of it, damnit! You can be “out” in your mind and when you have control of your life, you feel safe that day. Out you go – wear whatever you want and thank the people with a flower for the freedom. It’s not free … so vote, you little shit. But remember, you can’t change people… people change themselves. So you make yourself safe. Find those friends … the truth will set you free.

Photo taken by James Yeramian

Interview conducted and written by J. Federico

I Thee Wed … Gay Romance Is NOT Dead!

In Being Gay, Dating, Relationships on October 23, 2008 at 1:24 am


Meet Bobby and Joseph – two young men who are crazy about each other and ready to take that waltz down the aisle. For most of the young GLBT community, marriage isn’t given a second thought, but for these two crazy kids, it’s a dream come true! May I present to you, Mr. and Mr. … well, read for yourself…


Equal4all: Please give a little background of your relationship with Joseph:


Joseph and I met October 18, 2004 shortly after I had begun my freshman year of college at Virginia Commonwealth University. He was a senior at the University of Richmond -about 5 minutes away in the same city. When we first met, neither of us thought it would turn into anything serious; we both thought the other was not our “type.” I guess we both learned that neither of us really knew what our type was.


After a month of dating for fun, we finally realized that we wanted to be an actual couple and that is when our relationship really began to grow into what it is today.


After 6 months, we moved in together. Some would say it was too soon, but clearly it worked for us. We lived together in Richmond until December 2007. In late December 2007 I graduated from college – we packed up our apartment and moved to NYC together.


We currently share an apartment with our adorable little cat, Archadeus, in midtown west. It has been an absolute blast! We have grown a lot together since moving away from our families and friends.


Equal4all: How did your family react when they found out you were engaged?


When all was said and done, my family was amazing. There were a couple of funny moments when telling them, but that was to be expected I guess. My mom asked me “to who?” I only responded with, “You know who … Joseph, Mom! We have been together for almost four years and just moved to NYC together, who do you think I am engaged to?”


My biological dad didn’t answer his phone when I called him. He returned my call the next day and asked me what my news was. I told him I was engaged and his response was “to who?” I almost died and asked why everyone keeps asking me that. He said “I just want to hear you say it I guess.” Then he said he was so happy for us and I could hear him start to get emotional – in a good way – which isn’t an everyday occurrence for my Texan father.


Everyone has been very happy and very supportive. I am very lucky; especially considering my family is made up of mostly Republicans!


Equal4all: Did the two of you decide to live together before the engagement or is that happening after the walk down the aisle?


We have lived together for about 3 years prior to getting engaged. We moved in together basically 6 months after our relationship started. He was graduating from college, preparing to start graduate school, and needed a roommate; I wanted to move off campus and wanted a roommate. We had been spending almost every night together up until then, so we decided to save ourselves some money and just move in together.


Equal4all: I’ve read that some gay married couples have an open relationship … Once you tie the knot, will Joseph be the only man for you or will it be open? Have the two of you talked about it at all?


Our relationship is not open in that respect. We have no problem talking openly about our feelings or if we find someone attractive because that is human nature, but we do not have sex with other men on the side. It is just not our thing, but I know it works for other couples and that is great for them.


Equal4all: Give us the juicy deets of your wedding: How many in the wedding party? Color you went with for flowers? Matching tuxes? Where is it being held and when? Where are the rings from? Are you going old school; something old/new, borrowed/blue? Writing your own vows?


I think the best way to answer this question is to answer it out of order. The rings, the rings are very special. A close friend of Joseph’s family is a jeweler back in Virginia. He was also Joseph’s confirmation sponsor back when Joseph was a practicing Catholic. He sat us down with a couple gin and tonics and instead of showing us a bunch of the everyday men’s rings you see everywhere he simply took out some paper and asked us about… well … us. He asked how we met, what we were like when we met, what our relationship was like in the beginning. Then he asked us about our current life together, what we like to do for fun together, what we do separately, what our interests are. Then he reviewed his notes and is coming up with personalized rings that will fit us and be one of a kind. They will be white gold or platinum, and just beautiful.


The wedding is going to be a little different. First of all, we are not religious. With that being said we decided we did not want a religious wedding. Personally no real mention of religion will be a part of the wedding. We want the ceremony to be legitimate so we knew we would have to travel to another state. We will be having the ceremony in Massachusetts because that is where Joseph’s family originates. The ceremony will be small and will only consist of a couple close friends and my parents. We plan to have it video taped and shown at our reception which will be held here in NYC. The reception is going to be the big event. We plan on inviting about 130 guests, but we have to cut our list down from where it is right now. As mentioned before we will show a short video of the ceremony at the reception. The reception will be held on the upper east side of Manhattan. It will be a cocktail, music, and hors d’oeurves affair. Everything is still in the works but we think the direction we are going in is best for us.


We started out by trying to plan a big ceremony and full blown reception to take place here in the city, but we realized it wasn’t our style. We aren’t traditional and we are more outgoing. A cocktail event popped into our heads.


Equal4all: Did you propose or did Joseph? What was the planning that went into it? Did it turn out how you imagined?


Joseph proposed to me – he had it all planned out. We were at home and he started acting a little strange. He said to put something nice on, but wouldn’t tell me why or where we were going. While getting ready he played our song, “I’ll Be” and then a bunch of songs from the movie Dirty Dancing. I knew something was up, then it hit me. I thought to myself “he is going to propose to me!” So I texted our friend Jayson and told him I thought tonight was the night. I was bouncing off the walls.


Anyways, as we were leaving he told me I might want to bring my glasses. I thought that was strange but didn’t question him. We left the apartment and started heading from HK toward the eastside. As we crossed town on foot I realized where we were going. There was only one place we would really be going in that part of town and really only one reason I would need my glasses. The Rainbow Room! Sure enough, that is where we went. We took the elevator all the way up and got a bottle of champagne, deserts and enjoyed the view. As we finished our champagne I looked over at him. He seemed nervous but very happy. Then nothing happened. The waiter gave us the bill, he paid and we left. When we hit the street he asked me what was wrong. I guess my face showed everything. I said “is that it?” Like a spoiled 2 year old would do. He said yes and asked what else would there be.


We had a silent walk back to our apartment. When we got there I walked into the dark living room, took my glasses off and sat on the couch. He turned the lights on and sat down next to me. He was just looking straight at me with a smirk on his face, while I sat there not entirely happy. I kept asking him what was so smirky and he would look over at the dinning room table instead of answering me. Since I had my glasses off I couldn’t fully see that far away. Once my eyes focused on the big envelop on the table I realized it kind of looked like my name was written on it. I got off the couch walked over to the table and opened up the envelope that did in fact have my name on it. Inside were the forms for NY domestic partnerships. I looked over at him and he proposed. He was so insanely nervous even though he knew I was going to say yes. We popped open a bottle of champagne and danced to “I’ll Be.”


Immediately after the song I called my mom, then my dad and then texted just about everyone I was close to.


Equal4all: Do you and Joseph have the same political views? If not, how do they differ and how will it affect your vote come November?


We do have the same political views. They aren’t exact, but I don’t think anyone’s are exact. They are 99.9% aligned though. We both supported the same candidate in the primary, and even though our candidate, who we support entirely, did not win the nomination we both are supporting the same person now. We both are extremely passionate about politics and both studied political science in school.


Equal4all: Do you go out a lot or are you the stay in/order out kind of guy?


I would say we are a healthy mix, although my co-workers say I go out a lot more than the rest of them. We love catching happy hour at least once a week. And we try to go out on the weekends. We usually hit the neighborhood bars such as “Barrage.”


We enjoy ordering out, but try to cook as much as we can. It gives us time to do something together and talk without distractions.


Think on your toes questions:


Blue or red?




The ocean or a lake?




Cook or take-out?




Blonds or brunettes?




What kind of car do you drive?


I don’t have a car. Take the subway; used to have a yellow mustang convertible.


Favourite candy bar?


Oh Henry


Favourite website?



  •  Interview conducted by J. Federico