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Posts Tagged ‘GLBT’

Randy Jones of the Village People

In Being Gay, Celebrity Interviews, Clubs, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Gay Weddings, Hollywood, Literature, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex, television on June 29, 2010 at 5:43 am

Because let’s be honest, disco music was where it was at!

-Joseph Federico

When you hear the name “Randy Jones,” a sexy disco-encrusted cowboy should come to mind. Best known for his role as the cowboy from the group the Village People, Randy Jones also has had many pokers in the fire of life since the 1970s; he’s still singing but he’s also an actor and writer. Randy was gracious enough to stop by and discuss what Pride means to him as well as what he’ll be up to within the next few years.

Equal4all: How do you feel that the Village People changed the path of music back in the 1970s?

Randy Jones: I’m not so sure that we changed the path of music in the 1970s. However, I do think that from the beginning, I realized that we were embarking on something rather unique in showbusiness. It was perhaps an early version of a “boyband,” although I’m not sure I would accept the responsibility of being a fairy godfather to “The Backstreet Boys,” “Nsync,” etc. When we/VP were in the early stages, in my thoughts, we took inspiration from the Marx Bros, the Three Stooges, The Ritz Bros – combining it with the moves from some of the cool soul groups of the 60s and 70s like the Coasters, the Temptaions, The Four Tops – tossing in the knowing wink and a wiggle from some County Fair Strippers and topping it off with a heavy dollop of Chippendale’s … which we as a group truthfully inspired!

Click here for Randy Jones’ website!

From the beginning, I viewed what we were attempting as essentially a comedy act with some very well crafted and deceptively simple Pop Songs, like “Macho Man,” “In the Navy,” and “Y.M.C.A.”! How could we go wrong? Nobody else gave us an ounce of credit … nor did any of the critics ever think we’d succeed. But we did. We did … far beyond anyone’s expectations.

Currently, my solo sales combined with Village People sales have surpassed more than 100 million units world-wide to date. I’m in the Guiness Book of Records. I’ve performed for the Queen of England, as well as at a U.S. Presidential Innaugural. I’ve appeared on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand, the Merv Griffin Show, the Tonight Show, Midnight Special, among hundreds of other television programs worldwide. I even appeared on The Love Boat a couple of times with Betty White and Andy Warhol!

Follow Randy Jones on Myspace!

And I’ve got a star on Hollywood Blvd … one of 2,500 in its 50 year history. Ours is located at 6529 Hollywood Blvd, right between movie star Betty Grable and music personality Liberace. Now, ain’t that the coziest spot one could imagine?! On one side Betty has legs insured for a million dollars and on the other side Liberace with a million dollars worth of sequins and crystal chandeliers!

E4A: Do you feel that the music you record today appeals to a wide mainstream audience and not only to members of the GLBT community?

RJ: I certainly believe the music I record and have recorded over the past four decades has been music recorded for the enjoyment of ALL people who give it a listen. I’ve never felt that I was recording music for any particular group of people or segment of the population. I really like POP music; that’s the music to which I like to listen, to perform and to record. I look for songs that have a story which resonates with me, that I feel I can tell and to which I can relate. Just give a listen to my most recent CD, “Ticket to the World.” Among the selections on it you will find “Your Disco Needs You,” “If I Can’t Have You,” “Sleeping,” and “Rhinestone Cowboy,” just to name a few!

E4A: Pride … what does it mean to you?


RJ: Pride … to me, means living an honest and open life in the light.

E4A: Tell us about your new show “When Joey Married Bobby.”

RJ: “When Joey Married Bobby” has gone on hiatus for the summer, but the producers are planning to take it to Atlanta, Orlando, and Dallas later this year. I let ’em know that I’m on board if all the t’s are crossed and the i’s are dotted. So be out there lookin’ for me!

E4A: Please give advice to those who may be struggling with who they truly are:

RJ: Make the honest choices that resonate with truth in your soul and be comfortable in your own skin. And remember that everyone is engaged in the same struggle … to exist, and that it is not always easy.

E4A: What is the famous Randy Jones up to within the next few years or so?

RJ: My career is and has been extremely satisfying. Fortunately, the VP time has provided and will forever provide me with financial security and freedom to pursue whatever project in showbusiness that interests me. I’m truly a very lucky dawg in that aspect. As you mentioned, I’ve just finished starring in an Off-B’way play, “When Joey Married Bobby” in the heart of Times Square. I’ve got a film that was just at Cannes, “My Guaranteed Student Loan” with Richard Pryor, Jr., Oscar winner Celeste Holm, and Kate Luckinbill (Lucille Ball’s grand-daughter). June 4th, a film in which I play an attorney, An Affirmative Act premiered at The Hoboken Film Festival, and two others, Violet Tendencies and Bear City premiered at NewFestNYC Festival this month.

Why don’t you IMDB Randy Jones!

I have a new book, “MACHO MAN: The Disco Era,” which is in its second printing and is in nearly 20,000 libraries around the world. It has been chosen to be included in University pop culture and LGBT courses and I am booked  frequently to appear to speak with college students who use the book in their courses. Later this year I have two film projects booked. One to be shot in Arizona is Cafe A Go Go in which I co-star with David Bowie’s ex-wife, Angie Bowie. Another is a contemporary telling of the Edgar Allan Poe tale “The Cask of Amontillado”… I play ‘Fortunato.’ Early in 2011, I’m booked to play the warden in a prison thriller, untitled as of now, and and then Spring 2011, I’m booked to play a deputy sheriff in another thriller, House of Whispers. I also have two reality/documentary projects in development with A&E/The History Channel.

Purchase some Randy Jones music!

Of course in my moments that I get to breathe, I love to do dates out performing my music – like the Classic Disco Nightclub Reunion Concert on July 2nd out in Melville Long Island. It’s a great roster of classic 70s acts like The Trammps, Harold Melvin’s Bluenotes, France Joli, Carol Williams, Musique, First Choice, and of course me doing “San Francisco/Hollywood,” “Macho Man,” “In the Navy,” “Go West,” “Can’t Stop the Music” and “Y.M.C.A,” along with several other selections from my current CD. I get to do about 30 music dates a year. And of course, I’ll be appearing at ROCK CON, the National Rock & Roll Fan Fest , July 30, 31, and Aug. 1. My new CD is also being readied for release in Spring of 2011!

As you may have been able to discern by now, I have never been bored a day in my life!

If you got the chance to meet Randy Jones of the Village People, how would you react?

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Ryan Colford has a Glimpse of Man

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Dating, Gay Business, Gay NYC, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on May 25, 2010 at 5:32 am

Ryan Colford is a New York City-based fashion and art photographer. He has been published in fashion and lifestyle magazines in America, England and Australia with a variety of features on international and local websites.

Currently, he is simultaneously working on two separate coffee table books. One collection is tentatively titled “The Candy Shoppe,” and blends vibrant colors, sexuality, texture and irreverence. The second is the “Glimpse of Man” collection and is a classic styling of fine art imagery of modern day man exposed.

His artwork has been exhibited in New York galleries and businesses. It has been used for everything from the promotion of art fairs to being auctioned off for charity events. Ryan Colford has also done advertising campaigns for women’s clothing, actors, musicians, key art for movies, corporate and small businesses as well as personalized individual shoots from weddings to specialty concepts.

To me, Colford undoubtedly portrays not only “man” through his eyes, but makes a bold statement about the evolutionary process and how far we have come have as a society.

Let’s get to the Q & A, shall we?

What does Pride mean to you?

It’s funny but Pride means so many things and really it changes depending on where you are at in life. Over the years, it’s changed for me and yet in other ways it’s remained ever the same. 

For me Pride is all about living honestly and openly and loving yourself. I can’t stress the importance of that one sentence! I can’t imagine not being honest about who I am. When I came out at 18, I had to reinforce being proud of myself and to break down doors and stereotypes. I was the ice breaker for my family and quite a few friends!

Now a thousand years later, I have a different perspective. I’m not proud of being gay anymore than I’m proud of having legs or that the sky is blue – for me, it just is. I’m proud of the man that I’ve become and still yet to be.

As a photographer, how have you implemented the idea of being proud into your work?

As an artist, I’m proud of the work that I do that speaks to people on that deep profound deep level. As a gay man, I’m proud of the work that I do that makes people think, that questions their beliefs, that exposes them to imagery they are not familiar with (and maybe uncomfortable with too!)

I think there’s a certain rawness to some of my images that are gay themed. I feel like I pull the shadows away for people and make them realize that at heart we are all the same.

As a gay man, do you feel that your work can be more easily scrutinized than that of a straight man?

I don’t know if it’s more easily scrutinized, but it’s definitely more likely to be classified as gay. I mean a picture of a man (naked or otherwise) isn’t really homoerotic unless he’s maybe sucking dick; it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer. So yeah, I get that reaction from a lot of straight people but I don’t really care. Art is all subjective and I create it because I can’t imagine not doing it.

What has been your favorite photo-shoot to date and why?

Shh, that wouldn’t be nice! It’s funny though, because every artist gets that question in one form or another; seriously though, I don’t have just one (besides you’re only as good as your last photograph).

I have moments though. There are times when I can connect with a model and draw out that creative spark and capture it for the world to see; to show them that beauty, that one amazing image that will always stay with them!

Who would you love to get your claws into and do a photo-shoot with? Why?

The list could be endless from musicians and superstars to men I’ve seen at the gym. I want to shoot so many people … really. I know it’s kind of a pat answer, but I love shooting so much, I can’t imagine just picking one person.

Let me give you a better answer I suppose. It’s more the energy of the model, their look, that certain “it.” Some models just have that light about them that I want to capture that moment in time forever.

Please tell us about your upcoming Pride exhibition:

Gladly! The name of the collection that will be up all month is “Glimpse of Man.” The “Glimpse of Man” series is an intimate and sensual look at the male form. There is an element of barriers removed and inhibitions cast aside. My focus on the male form is to expose the beauty of man without shame. Society and culture has de-sexualized the male form – from the clothing choices to interactions with other men.

One of my main goals is to present a positive and acceptable image of male sexuality. The “Glimpse of Man” is an exploration both for the model and the viewer. Each image has its own context and story that can be felt and interpreted on various levels. I invite the viewer to truly appreciate the life, sexuality, and energy of man.

Of course at midnight one night only, there’s going to be an adult show called “Raw Sugar.” These are selections of shots from “Candy Shoppe” that includes images that have been censored (and some that have not) for one reason or another. So it’s honest and open and blatant! LOL! “The Candy Shoppe” is all about color, texture, vibrancy, sex and fun. Come check it out!

Follow Ryan online:

RyanColford.com

Ryan Colford Photography

A note from the Photographer: “All photography simply involves evoking an emotional response. Whether that response is desire for a product or appreciation of beauty comes from the ability to tell a story with one simple image.” Ryan Colford

The “Glimpse of Man” Gallery Exhibition will be held at 25 Victory Blvd., Staten Island, NY 10301 at 9PM Friday June 4th, 2010.

-Joseph Federico

Photographs courtesy of Ryan Colford Photography, Other information provided by the Downtown Staten Island Council

New York City Boy: Gully is Twinkilicious!

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Literature, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on May 13, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Some of you may have already been invited to join the Facebook group entitled “Gulliver’s Travelog.” This is not your ordinary group, nor is Gulliver your ordinary gay boy. The Facebook group is meant to gather fans and future friends of a young man that took life by the balls and decided to document his adventures every step of the way.

Equal4all: As a gay individual, do you feel that New York City has better opportunities than California?

Gully: There certainly are MORE opportunities. California right now is being ravaged by a piss-poor economy. Also, California is perfect if you’re looking for a job in television or film (or assisting in television or film); try looking for anything else and you’re shit out of luck.

In NYC, I received a job offer (and a job!) just by luck while walking my roomie (and fraternity brother’s) dog. That rarely if ever happens on the streets of LA and thereabouts. Meanwhile, you never know WHO you’ll crash into while you’re going about your day.

E4A: What made you decide to blog about your moving experiences?

G: Well, despite landing a job somewhat quickly, I’ve been having a tough time here in NYC. I figured it would be an excellent way to deal with my trials and tribulations – by documenting them online. It’s also led to a lot of friendships and relationships already. You’d be surprised by the sheer amount of people that have found me through the blog and extended a hand in friendship (you and your blog included!). I’m also a big fan of storytelling, and nothing makes for a better story than actual life.

E4A: What were you doing in California before deciding to make the big move to the Big Apple?

G: To be honest, I was doing nothing …that’s sort of why I moved. Like in the Savannah when a water source dries up, the herds move elsewhere. A potent combination of drama and joblessness, as well as a generous donation from my loving parents enabled me to pick-up and move … something no one thought I’d ever do, and something that everyone said I would quickly regret.

E4A: Tell our readers what the perfect date means to you:

G: A perfect date has a backbone of excellent conversation. I LOVE human interactions. I want my date to be up on pop culture and news. They’d be funny and our jokes would build off of one-another. Maybe we’d see a movie, play, or a musical; we could even go to a museum and have lots to talk about afterwards. I also love walking, so there should be some of that – in a preferably scenic locale such as Central Park or along the Hudson or East Rivers. Good sex is always an added bonus, too…

E4A: Please give advice to someone who may be struggling with who they truly are:

G: I think “who we truly are” is a problematic concept. Our cells live and die every day; after a number of days we are physically and technically a different person. Likewise, I believe who we are is just as fluid and changing.

I say focus on what you’re doing – who you’re with – and spend time creating such things as a statue, a painting, and a poem. We get closest to who we are at that exact moment while we are creating something … it’s not a “window” to the soul, but rather it allows you to chase your creation down to the roots within you that gave rise to what you made. If you spend a lot of time being emo and wondering “who you truly are,” you run the risk of answering the question with “nothing and no one” and that’s scary.

E4A:  Let’s be honest … top or bottom?

G: I’d define myself as a bottom with versatile tendencies … maybe a 75-25 split.

E4A: What can we expect from Gully within the year?

G: That’s a good question! Probably a lot of adventures … I have a habit of getting myself into intriguing situations. It took me a number of years to wear myself ragged in LA, but NYC moves at a far quicker pace. Hopefully I don’t wear out my welcome here too quickly.

People can keep track of me through my blog, my Facebook, and my Twitter. They can also ask me questions like you just did on my Formspring.

Joseph Federico

Dougall Fraser: E4A’s Top Psychic

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, Hollywood, Literature, Night Out, Relationships, religions, sex on February 25, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Dougall Fraser is a professional psychic and has recently looked into the future for some of the women on The Real Housewives of Orange County. In this interview, he details how he decided to become a professional psychic, talks about the housewives, and tries to see into his own future.

Equal4all: You recently made an appearance on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Can you tell us a little bit about your experience with the women? Which housewife can you foresee having the most drama in her life in the near future?

Dougall Fraser: When I was invited to appear on RHOC, I honestly thought it would be the easiest job in the world.  I figured that as a gay man, I wouldn’t be threatening to the women and it would be a fun night to connect with them.  Not the case.  The 6 or 7 min segment that aired was a flash of what really was close to two hours.  Most of the women were a bit cold to me with the exception of Tamra and Alexis.  In the end, I think the women were afraid of what I was going to reveal – and in fairness to them, they really had no idea that I was coming.

As far as drama is concerned it’s safe to say that we will see the most drama coming from Gretchens’ life.

E4A: Please tell us a little bit about how you got into the business of being a professional psychic and how you have grown from your career choice:

DF: I don’t think any kid dreams of becoming a professional gypsy.  As the fat, chubby kid on the playground, I was dealing with some intense emotions.  My parents were on the verge of divorce, my sister had leukemia, and I was pretty sure I was gay.  In an effort to avoid my problems, I looked to things like meditation, channeling, crystals, and anything to get out of my head.  I quickly learned that a really fun way to avoid my own problems is to talk about the problems of other people.  This became a little bit of an obsession, something I thought was a hobby.  After years of practice, it coincidentally became my career.  At the age of 20 I came out of the closet, lost a ton of weight, and started taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  I had been reading part time when people asked, and making my living as a massage therapist.  Randomly I was selected the best psychic in Dallas and had an article written about me.  When that publication came out, I went from five readings a month to several readings a day with a three-month waiting list.  For me, this was a huge sign that this work was my destiny.

I feel so lucky to take a peek into peoples lives every day.  My clients are my teachers – I learn from their mistakes.  I share in their joy and their pain.  I get to see such a cross section of people.  It has given me the tools to achieve my goals and to help others achieve theirs.

E4A: In the past, have you been able to foresee important events of your own life? How has being a psychic set you apart from others?

DF: I believe we all have intuition; the only thing that separates me from others is the fact that I listen to it.  The moment I met my husband I heard the words in my head, “You will marry him.”  My second thought was, “God, I must be drunk.”  I wish I could tell you that every day I wake up and have coffee with my spirit guides and they tell me exactly what is going to happen … not the case.  What makes me different is that I pay close attention to my first gut reaction.  I trust what my intuition is saying and keep it in mind.  For example, when I had the psychic impression of who I was to marry, I didn’t blurt it out.  It’s not like the next day I said “Well, I see us getting married.  You should move in!”  Can you imagine?  We dated like normal people and I didn’t tell him for a year that I had that vision.

E4A: How did you realize you were psychic? Did you have a vision when you were younger or is it a family business you just came into?

DF: My family’s business is real estate.  My parents used to say that by the time I was standing in the crib I would talk about colors around people and hearing voices.  Like any good mother, she was positive that I was special.  Like any rational father, I was quickly sent to therapy.  In short, seeing auras, or the energy that surrounds every living thing, has just been as common to me as being left-handed.  I’ve spent years studying energy, color, and light work to define and understand what I was seeing.

E4A: Do you feel that being a psychic and also being gay, that you fit into a certain kind of stereotypical box?

DF: That’s a good question.  I don’t know if I fit into a box – however, I do think society gives permission to women and gay men to be more intuitive.  Feelings, emotions, energy, these are all seen as feminine traits – we always hear about women’s intuition.  I also think that many gay people look outside of traditional religion to find their spirituality.  In the New Age community, all are welcome.

E4A: On your facebook page, it says you are married and he looks like quite the catch. Please tell us how you met your Prince Charming and what married life is like.

DF: OK, moment of truth … David and I met seven years ago in the middle of the night.  It was supposed to be an Internet hookup.  What?  I’m only human.  Anyway, turned out he is the love of my life.

We had our wedding on June 10, 2007 at Bedell Vineyard on Long Island.  We are also one of the 18,000 legally married couples in Los Angeles.

Marriage is so much more than I thought it would be.  It’s very powerful having a co-pilot or equal to share my life with.  We work very hard at inspiring each other to be the best we can possibly be.  In short, I am still smitten with the man – he’s the best.

E4A: If you had the chance to do it all over again, what career path would you choose for yourself?

DF: No regrets … I wouldn’t change a thing.

E4A: How is being a psychic different than taking part in other groups that believe in witchcraft and the occult? Have you ever gotten negative feedback for what you do?

DF: Witchcraft or Paganism is more of a religion and way of life; I haven’t really studied that world very much.  I tend to lean more toward Tibetan Buddhism.  In short, Witchcraft is a Goddess or Earth-based philosophy.  Most of my work deals with the spirit world.

E4A: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

DF: My career goals are to write my second book, and host a daytime talk show.  I would love to inspire people to look beyond the physical, to see their true selves and find their happiness within.  My personal goals are to continue putting down roots and building a happy life in Los Angeles.

E4A: Please give our readers advice on how to stay true to themselves as members of the GLBT community:

DF: Simply put, be who you are!  I follow a basic metaphysical guideline that energy follows thought and thought directs energy.  So be proud, be powerful, and emit a light from within that says “I am who am I am, and I love myself.”

Dougall Fraser is the author of the memoir: But You Knew That Already: What a Psychic Can Teach You About Life

For more information, please go to: DougallFraser.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/dougallfraser

Twitter: http://twitter.com/DougallFraser

J. Federico

-Television appearance and book cover images of Mr. Fraser provided by Guttman PR-

Photo Sources 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

In Being Gay, concerts, Dating, decor, Gay Weddings, holidays, Music, Night Out, Relationships, sex on February 13, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Every year when Valentine’s Day comes around, there’s always that feeling that you need to do something more than just dinner and a movie. This year, Equal4All has compiled a list of simple, different dates so you and your valentine can make the most out of it.

10 things to do together on Valentine’s Day:

Watch the sun rise together. It’s a romantic way to start off the day. Bring your date some of their favorite morning beverages or even breakfast in bed and snuggle together as you watch the sunrise.

Take a trip. Valentine’s Day is part of the weekend this year, and for some it might be longer because of President’s Day, so why don’t you go somewhere for the long weekend? It doesn’t need to be anywhere far or glamorous, just a nice chance to escape the normal everyday routine and be together.

Cook dinner together. Though it might seem more romantic to cook your partner a surprise dinner, it might actually be better if you cook it together. Pick out the menu together, go shopping for it, come back, open a bottle of wine and start cooking. You’ll both have fun while you’re cooking, and even if the meal isn’t the best thing you’ve ever eaten, the fun you had making it will make up for it.

Plan a picnic. If you would still rather surprise your date with a meal, consider turning it into a picnic. Pack it all up with a bottle of wine and a blanket and find somewhere cozy and romantic. If it’s cold where you are, consider setting-up an indoor picnic. You can dim the lights, light some candles, and put on some soft music.

Go see a concert. Seeing a nice show, in a small intimate setting where you can cuddle up listening to music can be very romantic.

Recreate your favorite date. There’s always one date that stands out in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably had one, so go out and recreate it as a surprise. I’m sure remembering that special day will touch your partner.

Create a spa day. You can either go to the spa and get all the treatments that will relax you and put you in the mood, or you can create a spa day at home. At home, you can give each other manicures, pedicures and massages; just make sure to dim the lights and play soft music so that you get the whole experience.

Scavenger hunt. Leave little notes around the house or town with cute messages for one another that have clues to find the next note. At the end of the scavenger hunt you can be waiting for them with dinner or a gift.

Volunteer together. It may not be the most romantic thing in the world, but Valentine’s Day is about love and sharing your love with others less fortunate is a great thing and will probably draw the two of you closer.

Drive-in movie. Let’s face it, dinner and a movie is a standard date night, and they can get pretty dull. Going to a drive-in is a better alternative. You can bring blankets, pillows, a dinner, and just snuggle up together in privacy – much better than sitting in a crowded theatre with a $7.00 bucket of popcorn.

How will you be spending your day of love?

Lindsay Dahlstrom

Photo Source 1, 2, 3, 4

New Relationship Tips and How to Act

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay Weddings, holidays, Hollywood, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on December 21, 2009 at 11:23 pm

I haven’t had the greatest run with relationships. My love life has been sucky for a while, but if there’s anything I’ve learned from it, it’s how to act while your relationship is still young, tender, and fresh. Here are some DOs and DON’Ts:

DON’T be annoying! A stage 5 clinger is the last thing your partner needs. Try to space out text messages and phone calls. Don’t check on them every 5 minutes. This will lead to serious attachment issues, believe me.

DO play hard to get! Everyone likes a challenge, so why not? DON’T, however, be too defensive. Try to find a happy medium that suits you and your other half.

DON’T make the relationship all about gifts. Sure, flashy things and nice clothes are great, but not at the beginning of a relationship. Save those for when things get serious. Remember, love cannot be bought.

DO make compromises! Don’t make it all about you, and don’t let your partner take all the spotlight. If you find that the other person tends to be an attention whore, stay away! This will only make you feel you belittled, and that should never happen. An occasional expensive dinner or splurge is appropriate, but don’t make your partner go bankrupt!

DON’T break-up because of a few fights. Conflict is natural and in some cases, necessary. Occasional verbal arguments and disagreements will always occur. If you are looking for the perfect relationship, get ready for disappointment. Not everyone can agree on the same things, so don’t expect it to happen with your partner.

DON’T expect your partner to pay for every date! If he insists, convince him to switch things up a little bit and treat him to dinner and a movie once a month. You must give him a break once in a while!

Now, I’m not guaranteeing that these tips will apply to all relationships. These tips were formulated from my own experiences in the dating jungle. Winter is the best time to spread love, so go out there and find your perfect match!

Matt Scotto

Photo Sources 1, 2, 3, 4

Coming Out at Thanksgiving

In Being Gay, Dating, Gay Weddings, holidays, Relationships, religions, sex on November 25, 2009 at 5:45 pm

The decision to come out is an important part of any gay man’s life. It’s the chance to finally let the people you love see you for who you are. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you might start thinking that there is no better time to come out and finally be yourself. Equal4All sat down with two gay men as they shared their views about coming out on a holiday.

“Holidays are very family oriented and I get that it’s a comforting time,” said Jon McPhee, 22, but he doesn’t believe that you have to come out on a holiday. “You should find comfort in coming out anytime of the year, you shouldn’t have to fall back on a holiday. But if that’s what it takes for you to come out, more power to you,” he said.

McPhee, who came out earlier this year, also mentions that the relationship that you have with your family is a huge factor in the coming out process. “Ultimately, it’s your own decision when you want to come out, but I just hope that the reason why people come out on holidays aren’t so they can fall back on it because they fear the outcome. It’s always sad when you hear that someone’s coming out process is a trying experience rather than a positive one.”

Colin Sullivan, 22, had similar feelings about coming out on a holiday. He came out to parents earlier this year and said that he may come out to his sister during the upcoming Thanksgiving. But he too, is unsure if coming out on the holiday is the right way to do it. “I don’t think I could do the ‘tell one, tell all’ type of thing. I wouldn’t want such an important part of my life being associated with the holiday,” he said.

“It’s really just such an important time for a gay man, so when you’re ready to tell people, you should regardless of the circumstances, but just try and be aware of what the reactions might be,” Sullivan said.

Though Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the ideal time to come out for a lot of men, for some, it is. “If you want it to be out there quickly, then jump into the deep end and do it, It’s different for everyone; all I know is that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it that way,” Sullivan said.

So, if you are planning on coming out this Thanksgiving, just make sure you do it on your own terms and that you’re ready for anything thrown back your way. Sullivan said, “Just be strong, be prepared for any reaction possible … but no matter what they say, or how they react, everything gets better with time.”

What are your thoughts on coming out at Thanksgiving? Please share your ideas below!

-Lindsay Dahlstrom

Photo Source 1, 2, 3

Erectile Reptile and then some…

In Art, Being Gay, Dating, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Literature, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on October 19, 2009 at 10:57 pm

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After writing the last blog I wrote about 3 or 4 follow-ups. But they were all safe … talking about how music and other artistic mediums inspire me (Go to my website for that!).

I felt I hadn’t finished speaking about gender identity and the psyche of the gay man; I need to talk more in depth about this topic as it directly informs my art and continues to intrigue/inspire me.

What is the big deal with size queens … that’s what I’m wondering! Why do MANY of my gay friends and older gay men that I know and respect, always claim to need “9-12inches or a soda bottle size dick?!?” Where does this fascination with size come from? Is this stat REALLY what we should be basing our sex lives on? Does having an average size penis mean YOU ARE only “average” or less masculine?! Ha-ha! This is RIDICULOUS and yet another stereotype that’s being shoved down our throats (pun intended) to make gay men feel insecure and inferior; AS IF they aren’t enough out there!

Look, I have an average size dick; it’s not too big and not too small. I’m a grower not a shower, and I’ve never had a complaint. I believe it’s not the size of the boat, but rather the motion of the ocean!! I personally would never expect a partner to have a huge donkey dick, and if I loved and cared for my partner, I’d be happy no matter what. This SHOULD NOT be a prerequisite NOR should it be a standard; it shouldn’t even be an issue! Just because a guy has a huge tool doesn’t mean he knows how to use it! Still so many gay men out there harp on this topic and I find it really shallow.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to see that this topic is an issue of masculine inadequacy. This size obsession also goes hand-in-hand with the gay community’s “norm” and pressure to WORKOUT 24/7. Big muscles = big STRONG masculine men … give me a break!! This type of behavior and social conditioning leads to extreme body image issues. What about the inside? What about your capacity to love another person and be available to build something substantial and real with a partner?! How about focus on being an intellectual and spiritual person AS WELL AS your SEXUALrelationship?! They are all parts of a whole (whether it is you and your boyfriend or just YOU as a multi-dimensional human being).

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But along with modern technology comes going to extreme LENGTHS (hehe) to alter one self, thinking this will bring value to their person and bring more persons to their bed. Can we say SIDE EFFECTS?! Some include penile numbness, loss of erectile capability, soreness and so on! WHO WANTS that?!! NOT ME!! I love my penis and want to keep it in GOOD WORKING ORDER; sensation loss is NOT an option.  We should find NATURAL ways to enhance sensation and draw out the pleasure and orgasm … for example, using Tantra and certain Yogic practices. I’m a huge fan of Tantra; Yoga is a huge part of my life. And Yes, I take  it into the bedroom. It may not be instant gratification, but these techniques are to be LEARNED and experimented with.  However, there are books out there! Just try Googleing Mantak Chia, Penile implants, pumps, and chemical and herbal supplements; there’s a lot out there claiming to “HELP” make you bigger. And MANY of these “revolutionary” tools are targeted towards a much younger crowd!!? WTF? There is a whole under culture who takes Viagra to enhance their sexual adventures for an extended period of time. Again … never been an issue! IF you are attracted to your partner, and have a connection, you SHOULD be able to give it all you got and KEEP IT GOING!!  If you can’t sustain an erection you should go see your doctor. If it’s not erectile dysfunction, EXPLORE your sexual tastes! Maybe you have an undiscovered fetish or situation that makes you SUPER HOT … or hey, maybe you’re BI! What’s the harm in exploration?!  It will only make you happy and more knowledgeable in the end!

-Charlie Demos

charlies

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A Chat with Greenview Marketing!

In Being Gay, Gay Business, Gay NYC, NYC on October 16, 2009 at 7:40 pm

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Equal4all had a great opportunity to catch-up with Bryan Ruiz, manager of all design, web, and marketing efforts for Greenview Marketing. Mr. Ruiz and his business partner, Joe Lontos, have a keen eye for “going green,” and share thoughts on tricks of the trade; they even tell us their plans for the future and what it’s like overall being eco-friendly!

Equal4all: How did you begin to build the foundation of your business with the idea of being “green” and how do you express that through your work?

Bryan Ruiz: I started to live a more eco-friendly lifestyle when I was in college. I began reading more and more about the environment and its future in regards to depleting resources and the change in climate over time. I took a step back and realized changes I needed to make to “do my part.” I began to recycle, walk more (which was easy in a college town), take public transportation and be more conservative in my home life such as shorter showers and turning the lights off when I leave a room.

My work has been no different. I have researched many ways that I could preserve resources without compromising the quality of my design and work. Some of these things include using less colors and full bleeds when I design. This helps conserve ink and paper. I al use an eco-friendly web hosting company which has all of its servers powered by windmills.

E4A: In what ways do you stress living an eco-friendly lifestyle outside of Greenview Marketing?

BR: I still follow the same everyday tactics like I have above but also added new methods to my lifestyle such as bringing shopping’s bags to the grocery store and using eco-friendly light bulbs in my apartment. My main goal is to continue routine activities that are eco-friendly but are not necessarily more work. It’s a matter of being mindful of what  you’re doing.

E4A: Have you found a connection between being “green” and catering to gay clientele?

BR: The main connection for me is that I have both qualities. But overall I would have to say that the gay population is always open to change. Being a part of the gay population, I also know that many of us are innovators and early adopters in the market and are the first to test out new products, tactics and ways. That’s the main correlation I have found which can simply be put as a high level of excitement to know only work with another gay man but that there is more to offer on top of that.

E4A: Give us some tips on how to lead eco-friendly lives without completely changing them!

BR: There are some easy tactics that one can follow that wouldn’t make your life any harder. The first is to keep reusable bags handy at home and/or at work; you can use those when you go grocery shopping or when you grab lunch at work. Another tip is if your next light bulb burns out, try buying eco-friendly ones that use less energy and are not that much more expensive.

E4A: Besides being gay yourself, what do you find interesting about the gay community from a business perspective?

BR: I think it’s great to be a part of such a unified community. I have found that the gay community supports each other and will always go the extra mile to help out another member in the community.

E4A: Where do you and your partner see your business 5 years from now? How about 10?

BR: In five years, I hope to have this company triple in size. Right now, my partner and I are the only ones representing this company. In five years it would be great to be able to employ others and work as a team to effectively execute award-winning advertising and public relation strategies and to also keep an eco-friendly train of thought as well. In ten years, I would say the same thing … only BIGGER!

E4A: When you guys have down time, do you still act in a “green” manner?

BR: I always act in a “green” manner because it has become so routine for me. I don’t see it as an annoying process but as a day-to-day process that I am used to.

-Interview conducted by Matt Scotto, edited by J. Federico

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Top to Bottom

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Music, Night Out, NYC, sex on August 25, 2009 at 2:29 am

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Currently rocking: Kraftwerk’s “The Man Machine;” “Robots” is currently playing!

Okay so I feel great blogging away!! It’s so far a sort of stream of consciousness but that’s how I converse; I don’t want to sit and plan what is appropriate for me to say! I much prefer to chat with all you sexy people in a natural, candid way!

I am going to segway from my beauty blog about feeling sexy to actual SEX and relationships – from tops to bottoms and those who are versatile … back to butch, femmes, and Andros! MORE and MORE labels to pigeonhole ourselves further into little cubby holes so we can literally SHOP for an “IDEAL” partner – or more truthfully, an “IDEAL” compliment to our outward appearances in society’s grip.

Yes much of it may be preferential, but these labels can sometimes serve as a mask. Why can’t we all just be the beautiful individuals Mother Nature intended us to be?!! Guys look at me: I am 5’11, 155lbs., skinny, white, artsy – and they assume so much without knowing me. Assumptions are: You are a total “femme bottom” that loves to be bossed around. My outgoing enthusiastic attitude also makes me seem “gullible,” I’ve discovered … how wrong is that?!!

In relationships, I tend to be the “MAN” – the one that “wears the pants.” But if we’re both boys, then we both wear pants – and girls wear pants too! I’m confused ALREADY with antiquated gender jargon!! Isn’t it interesting that all this terminology harkens back to the 1950’s standard of men’s and women’s role in society? Antiquated much?!

I prefer to top. I’ve tried bottoming many times and it hasn’t (in the past) been fulfilling to me. THAT does NOT mean I rule it out for all eternity. I think the ideal relationship for me is one where there is an ebb and flow … versatility, if you will. I just haven’t met the right guy for that yet!

If you want to feel the meaning of label constriction and have a good laugh, read Keith Swain’s “book” Dynamic Duo. Never before have I seen someone simplify the complexities of the human condition so ignorantly. One of my back-up dancers gave me this book; he is one of the sweetest guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing but he is totally indoctrinated into this “SYSTEM” for finding your mate! There is no ONE way to find love or happiness!! LIFE doesn’t have a handbook, so open your mind and take an adventure!!

I outwardly proclaim NOT having a specific type (looks-wise). Some friends say I like pretty boys, tortured artsy boys, White, Latin, black, or even Asian (now I’m beginning to sound like a Missy Elliot song!). I like it all, but it really depends on chemistry, energy, and dynamics of the individual! Many of the men I’ve been in serious relationships with have been physically shorter than I am, about the same build, and with personalities slightly more BETA. I think personal motivation and a killer work ethic is pretty sexy.

My friends always say I’m the “Butchest gay guy” they know … which means what exactly?! I don’t have a typical butch build, but I’m just a “regular guy” personality wise? HUH? I’m flummoxed.  I’m just myself – a dude – a dude who is a musician and gay. I’m an old-fashioned romantic when it comes to courting. I like to buy my guy flowers, pay for dinners when I can (keep in mind: I am a full-time INDIE ARTIST! HAHA) i.e. do the typical “male” role things in the relationship. But this is also because I’m a Libra and love beauty in all its incarnations … even gesture! Does this mean that I don’t adore the reciprocity of such behavior? Of course not! I appreciate thoughtfulness and effort too!! There is nothing more appealing to me than a man who allows himself to be soft, feminine, and most importantly, receptive to another man’s energy.

So much of the gay community’s energy IS this “TAKE IT BITCH!” attitude! I truly believe this is subconscious misogyny … or conscious!! There is so much beauty and power in surrender, opening your mind and heart enough TO accept another man.

It was very amusing to me to read these match.com, OkCupid.com, and all the other dating site profiles out there on the web. I’ve tried the online-dating thing and it just wasn’t for me – meaning I never found a LTR. However, I did find some great sex … still fantasize about this one guy – sexy psycho; I threw his phone out a window! LOL, anyway… All the dates I’ve been on from Okcupid.com that claimed desire of a LTR, I had sex with after maybe 3 dates (granted these are THE FEW I didn’t get up and walk out on the first date!!) Match.com: 1 guy , first date = sex – this guy was looking for a “HUSBAND.” LOL – keep in mind I expressed interest in meeting guys for short-term dating, long-term dating, and sex … no ambiguity, no grey areas.

There will be a profile of a seemingly great guy. He is super cute, interesting, multi-faceted, seemingly very educated, and then at the end of his post it will say: MASCULINE ONLY. NO QUEENS PLEASE. U MUST WORK OUT 6X A WEEK. WTF?!!! Men come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and dispositions; what is so wrong with an effeminate male? I love a queen in my man – it’s exciting, dynamic and multi-dimensional. We are oppressed enough as it is. Now I KNOW a great deal of attraction is personal preference. For Example, I typical enjoy darker features – Mediterranean or Latin. I’m not too into blonde-hair, blue-eyes TYPICALLY. However, I have fallen for one or two blondies that caught my attention with another more attractive quality to me! So I can’t say that I rule any one physical “TYPE” of guy out! I like a good adventure!! I’ve dated tall, short, large, small, geeky, preppy, angsty, prissy, trans, and bi just to name a few!!

But what I DO NOT understand is this whole “I want a straight/straight acting guy” fantasy?!! I don’t want a straight man! I want a gay man! I love my gays!! I want someone I can embrace and kiss their face off in public anytime I want – or screw on the street in the middle of the west village on a Friday night at 9pm!! HAHA – get the condoms and the Boy Butter (best lube ever!!) THIS is why so many men are single. BECAUSE they are so close-minded and see other gays who are more comfortable with themselves and are intimidated.

I’ve read several essays about gender identity and the gay men’s disdain for other gay men’s effeminate natures. Some people suggest that this not self-hatred or homophobia, but rather misogyny – A total disregard for all things FEMININE. This is SO sad, especially for our community. One of the things that has made homosexuals sacred in certain cultures, for example Native American traditions, is that we had BOTH energies – two souls!!  We need to get back to this!! Peace, Love, and Happiness!!

-Charlie Demos

charlies

Charlie is a fantabulous pop singer who will be guest-blogging for Equal4all for the next several weeks.

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