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Posts Tagged ‘top’

New York City Boy: Gully is Twinkilicious!

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Dating, Gay Business, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Hollywood, Literature, Music, Night Out, NYC, Relationships, sex on May 13, 2010 at 5:13 pm

Some of you may have already been invited to join the Facebook group entitled “Gulliver’s Travelog.” This is not your ordinary group, nor is Gulliver your ordinary gay boy. The Facebook group is meant to gather fans and future friends of a young man that took life by the balls and decided to document his adventures every step of the way.

Equal4all: As a gay individual, do you feel that New York City has better opportunities than California?

Gully: There certainly are MORE opportunities. California right now is being ravaged by a piss-poor economy. Also, California is perfect if you’re looking for a job in television or film (or assisting in television or film); try looking for anything else and you’re shit out of luck.

In NYC, I received a job offer (and a job!) just by luck while walking my roomie (and fraternity brother’s) dog. That rarely if ever happens on the streets of LA and thereabouts. Meanwhile, you never know WHO you’ll crash into while you’re going about your day.

E4A: What made you decide to blog about your moving experiences?

G: Well, despite landing a job somewhat quickly, I’ve been having a tough time here in NYC. I figured it would be an excellent way to deal with my trials and tribulations – by documenting them online. It’s also led to a lot of friendships and relationships already. You’d be surprised by the sheer amount of people that have found me through the blog and extended a hand in friendship (you and your blog included!). I’m also a big fan of storytelling, and nothing makes for a better story than actual life.

E4A: What were you doing in California before deciding to make the big move to the Big Apple?

G: To be honest, I was doing nothing …that’s sort of why I moved. Like in the Savannah when a water source dries up, the herds move elsewhere. A potent combination of drama and joblessness, as well as a generous donation from my loving parents enabled me to pick-up and move … something no one thought I’d ever do, and something that everyone said I would quickly regret.

E4A: Tell our readers what the perfect date means to you:

G: A perfect date has a backbone of excellent conversation. I LOVE human interactions. I want my date to be up on pop culture and news. They’d be funny and our jokes would build off of one-another. Maybe we’d see a movie, play, or a musical; we could even go to a museum and have lots to talk about afterwards. I also love walking, so there should be some of that – in a preferably scenic locale such as Central Park or along the Hudson or East Rivers. Good sex is always an added bonus, too…

E4A: Please give advice to someone who may be struggling with who they truly are:

G: I think “who we truly are” is a problematic concept. Our cells live and die every day; after a number of days we are physically and technically a different person. Likewise, I believe who we are is just as fluid and changing.

I say focus on what you’re doing – who you’re with – and spend time creating such things as a statue, a painting, and a poem. We get closest to who we are at that exact moment while we are creating something … it’s not a “window” to the soul, but rather it allows you to chase your creation down to the roots within you that gave rise to what you made. If you spend a lot of time being emo and wondering “who you truly are,” you run the risk of answering the question with “nothing and no one” and that’s scary.

E4A:  Let’s be honest … top or bottom?

G: I’d define myself as a bottom with versatile tendencies … maybe a 75-25 split.

E4A: What can we expect from Gully within the year?

G: That’s a good question! Probably a lot of adventures … I have a habit of getting myself into intriguing situations. It took me a number of years to wear myself ragged in LA, but NYC moves at a far quicker pace. Hopefully I don’t wear out my welcome here too quickly.

People can keep track of me through my blog, my Facebook, and my Twitter. They can also ask me questions like you just did on my Formspring.

Joseph Federico

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Top to Bottom

In Art, Being Gay, Clothing, Clubs, Gay Celebrity, Gay NYC, Music, Night Out, NYC, sex on August 25, 2009 at 2:29 am

topbottom

Currently rocking: Kraftwerk’s “The Man Machine;” “Robots” is currently playing!

Okay so I feel great blogging away!! It’s so far a sort of stream of consciousness but that’s how I converse; I don’t want to sit and plan what is appropriate for me to say! I much prefer to chat with all you sexy people in a natural, candid way!

I am going to segway from my beauty blog about feeling sexy to actual SEX and relationships – from tops to bottoms and those who are versatile … back to butch, femmes, and Andros! MORE and MORE labels to pigeonhole ourselves further into little cubby holes so we can literally SHOP for an “IDEAL” partner – or more truthfully, an “IDEAL” compliment to our outward appearances in society’s grip.

Yes much of it may be preferential, but these labels can sometimes serve as a mask. Why can’t we all just be the beautiful individuals Mother Nature intended us to be?!! Guys look at me: I am 5’11, 155lbs., skinny, white, artsy – and they assume so much without knowing me. Assumptions are: You are a total “femme bottom” that loves to be bossed around. My outgoing enthusiastic attitude also makes me seem “gullible,” I’ve discovered … how wrong is that?!!

In relationships, I tend to be the “MAN” – the one that “wears the pants.” But if we’re both boys, then we both wear pants – and girls wear pants too! I’m confused ALREADY with antiquated gender jargon!! Isn’t it interesting that all this terminology harkens back to the 1950’s standard of men’s and women’s role in society? Antiquated much?!

I prefer to top. I’ve tried bottoming many times and it hasn’t (in the past) been fulfilling to me. THAT does NOT mean I rule it out for all eternity. I think the ideal relationship for me is one where there is an ebb and flow … versatility, if you will. I just haven’t met the right guy for that yet!

If you want to feel the meaning of label constriction and have a good laugh, read Keith Swain’s “book” Dynamic Duo. Never before have I seen someone simplify the complexities of the human condition so ignorantly. One of my back-up dancers gave me this book; he is one of the sweetest guys I have ever had the pleasure of knowing but he is totally indoctrinated into this “SYSTEM” for finding your mate! There is no ONE way to find love or happiness!! LIFE doesn’t have a handbook, so open your mind and take an adventure!!

I outwardly proclaim NOT having a specific type (looks-wise). Some friends say I like pretty boys, tortured artsy boys, White, Latin, black, or even Asian (now I’m beginning to sound like a Missy Elliot song!). I like it all, but it really depends on chemistry, energy, and dynamics of the individual! Many of the men I’ve been in serious relationships with have been physically shorter than I am, about the same build, and with personalities slightly more BETA. I think personal motivation and a killer work ethic is pretty sexy.

My friends always say I’m the “Butchest gay guy” they know … which means what exactly?! I don’t have a typical butch build, but I’m just a “regular guy” personality wise? HUH? I’m flummoxed.  I’m just myself – a dude – a dude who is a musician and gay. I’m an old-fashioned romantic when it comes to courting. I like to buy my guy flowers, pay for dinners when I can (keep in mind: I am a full-time INDIE ARTIST! HAHA) i.e. do the typical “male” role things in the relationship. But this is also because I’m a Libra and love beauty in all its incarnations … even gesture! Does this mean that I don’t adore the reciprocity of such behavior? Of course not! I appreciate thoughtfulness and effort too!! There is nothing more appealing to me than a man who allows himself to be soft, feminine, and most importantly, receptive to another man’s energy.

So much of the gay community’s energy IS this “TAKE IT BITCH!” attitude! I truly believe this is subconscious misogyny … or conscious!! There is so much beauty and power in surrender, opening your mind and heart enough TO accept another man.

It was very amusing to me to read these match.com, OkCupid.com, and all the other dating site profiles out there on the web. I’ve tried the online-dating thing and it just wasn’t for me – meaning I never found a LTR. However, I did find some great sex … still fantasize about this one guy – sexy psycho; I threw his phone out a window! LOL, anyway… All the dates I’ve been on from Okcupid.com that claimed desire of a LTR, I had sex with after maybe 3 dates (granted these are THE FEW I didn’t get up and walk out on the first date!!) Match.com: 1 guy , first date = sex – this guy was looking for a “HUSBAND.” LOL – keep in mind I expressed interest in meeting guys for short-term dating, long-term dating, and sex … no ambiguity, no grey areas.

There will be a profile of a seemingly great guy. He is super cute, interesting, multi-faceted, seemingly very educated, and then at the end of his post it will say: MASCULINE ONLY. NO QUEENS PLEASE. U MUST WORK OUT 6X A WEEK. WTF?!!! Men come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and dispositions; what is so wrong with an effeminate male? I love a queen in my man – it’s exciting, dynamic and multi-dimensional. We are oppressed enough as it is. Now I KNOW a great deal of attraction is personal preference. For Example, I typical enjoy darker features – Mediterranean or Latin. I’m not too into blonde-hair, blue-eyes TYPICALLY. However, I have fallen for one or two blondies that caught my attention with another more attractive quality to me! So I can’t say that I rule any one physical “TYPE” of guy out! I like a good adventure!! I’ve dated tall, short, large, small, geeky, preppy, angsty, prissy, trans, and bi just to name a few!!

But what I DO NOT understand is this whole “I want a straight/straight acting guy” fantasy?!! I don’t want a straight man! I want a gay man! I love my gays!! I want someone I can embrace and kiss their face off in public anytime I want – or screw on the street in the middle of the west village on a Friday night at 9pm!! HAHA – get the condoms and the Boy Butter (best lube ever!!) THIS is why so many men are single. BECAUSE they are so close-minded and see other gays who are more comfortable with themselves and are intimidated.

I’ve read several essays about gender identity and the gay men’s disdain for other gay men’s effeminate natures. Some people suggest that this not self-hatred or homophobia, but rather misogyny – A total disregard for all things FEMININE. This is SO sad, especially for our community. One of the things that has made homosexuals sacred in certain cultures, for example Native American traditions, is that we had BOTH energies – two souls!!  We need to get back to this!! Peace, Love, and Happiness!!

-Charlie Demos

charlies

Charlie is a fantabulous pop singer who will be guest-blogging for Equal4all for the next several weeks.

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